In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

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Many regions in the world
allows
Change the verb form
allow

The singular verb allows does not appear to agree with the plural subject regions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to take maternity leave after
given
Wrong verb form
giving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb given. Consider changing it.

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birth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the newborn.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many think it unnecessary and
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous

The word disadvantage doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, I believe that the pros
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh

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the drawback . On the one hand,
Correct article usage
the pregrancy

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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pregrancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy

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period
carried
Wrong verb form
carries

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb carried. Consider changing it.

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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot

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of anxiety and stress
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
pysical
Correct your spelling
physical

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and emotional changes that effects
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

women
Change noun form
women's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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body and their mentality
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the needing for
rest
Correct article usage
a rest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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period is significantly important for mothers as long as the newborn . After
birth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,the newborn requires
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot

If you don’t want alot to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of attention and care specially during the first months of born
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the mother could
takes
Change the verb form
take

The verb takes after the modal verb could does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period as a chance to recover ,recharge and
taking
Wrong verb form
take

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb taking. Consider changing it.

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care
if
Correct your spelling
of

The word if doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the baby.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

suffer from depression after
birth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which requires attention and rest which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb could. Consider changing it.

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achieve with the stress of work and life
additionlly
Correct your spelling
addition

If you don’t want additionlly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to what she
passing
Wrong verb form
is going

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb passing. Consider changing it.

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through .
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, countries like Iraq gave
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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mothers more than six months or
year
Correct article usage
a year

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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for twin mothers to recover and
taking
Wrong verb form
take

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb taking. Consider changing it.

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care of their new
birth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many individuals think
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to get involved
into
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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community
Correct article usage
the community

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately

If you don’t want immediatly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
relef
Correct your spelling
relief

If you don’t want relef to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and get
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

life. For many workaholic
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,they do not prefer to take
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rest in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms

It seems that term may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of not being away from their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
duities
Correct your spelling
duties

If you don’t want duities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a long time . In conclusion ,the need to have the opportunity to relax and recover
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to staying with the baby during
first
Correct article usage
the first

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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few months after
birth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to
making
Wrong verb form
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb making. Consider changing it.

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memories with the child and the family.

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to convey ideas more clearly and effectively.
Structure
Ensure clarity in your introduction and conclusion; state your position and main arguments more distinctly.
Development
Develop your main points more comprehensively and ensure each point is clearly supported with examples or explanations.
Balance
You have identified both sides of the argument regarding maternity leave, which shows a balanced approach.
Relevance
The discussion about the emotional and physical well-being of new mothers provides a strong rationale for maternity leave.
Example Usage
Providing examples like the policy in Iraq gives weight to your points and illustrates real-world application.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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