IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

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Many regions in the world
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 to take maternity leave after
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the newborn.
Although
Linking Words
 many think it unnecessary and
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
, I believe that the pros
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawback . On the one hand,
Correct article usage
the pregrancy
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pregrancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 period
carried
Wrong verb form
carries
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of anxiety and stress
in addition
Linking Words
 to
pysical
Correct your spelling
physical
 and emotional changes that effects
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 body and their mentality
thus
Linking Words
, the needing for
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
 period is significantly important for mothers as long as the newborn . After
birth
Use synonyms
 ,the newborn requires
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of attention and care specially during the first months of born
thus
Linking Words
 the mother could
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
this
Linking Words
 period as a chance to recover ,recharge and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the baby.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
women
Use synonyms
 suffer from depression after
birth
Use synonyms
 which requires attention and rest which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 achieve with the stress of work and life
additionlly
Correct your spelling
addition
 to what she
passing
Wrong verb form
is going
show examples
 through .
For instance
Linking Words
 , countries like Iraq gave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mothers more than six months or
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 for twin mothers to recover and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care of their new
birth
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , many individuals think
women
Use synonyms
 need to get involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
 to
relef
Correct your spelling
relief
 and get
along with
Linking Words
 life. For many workaholic
women
Use synonyms
,they do not prefer to take
this
Linking Words
 rest in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of not being away from their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and
duities
Correct your spelling
duties
 for
such
Linking Words
 a long time . In conclusion ,the need to have the opportunity to relax and recover
in addition
Linking Words
 to staying with the baby during
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 few months after
birth
Use synonyms
 .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 memories with the child and the family.

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to convey ideas more clearly and effectively.
Structure
Ensure clarity in your introduction and conclusion; state your position and main arguments more distinctly.
Development
Develop your main points more comprehensively and ensure each point is clearly supported with examples or explanations.
Balance
You have identified both sides of the argument regarding maternity leave, which shows a balanced approach.
Relevance
The discussion about the emotional and physical well-being of new mothers provides a strong rationale for maternity leave.
Example Usage
Providing examples like the policy in Iraq gives weight to your points and illustrates real-world application.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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