"As a result of electronic inventions such as smartphones and tablets, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health". To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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I agree that "

as a result

Linking Words

of electronic inventions

such

Linking Words

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

and

tablets

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

do less physical

activity

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, and

this

Linking Words

is having a negative effect on their

health

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This

Linking Words

is because of these reasons I explain

bellow

Correct your spelling

below

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, electronic devices like

smartphones

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and

tablets

Use synonyms

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

lead to a number of

people

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who are addicted to them, and

thus

Linking Words

they do less physical

activity

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. Many

people

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spend from four to 12 hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the crowlling

show examples

crowlling

Correct your spelling

crawling

crowding

scrolling

of their

smartphones

Use synonyms

. They are attracted by notifications from messengers, emails, zalo, what's up

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc., and the first thing some

people

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wake up in the morning is daily checking their electronic devices. As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, they have no time to do any

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

and motivate their positive energy. "Time flies as an arrow",

people

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spend most of their time

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apply

show examples

using their

smartphones

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tablets

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cannot

Correct word choice

and cannot

show examples

go out for

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

physical

activity

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obviously.

Secondly

Linking Words

, less moving physically can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a worse effect on

people

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health

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, there are many

people

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staying in obesity and

lossing

Correct your spelling

losing

their

memmories

Correct your spelling

memories

during the Covid 19 pandemic. These patients were blocked in their

home

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homes

show examples

, they did not have a lot of healthy recreation. They

stuck

Add a missing verb

are stuck

show examples

with their

smartphones

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tablets

Use synonyms

for long hours, day by day.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

during

this

Linking Words

period often got

serous

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serious

show examples

diseases

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apply

show examples

mental or physical

ones

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apply

show examples

Consequently

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, a

majoity

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majority

of elderly

people

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often

Add a missing verb

are often

show examples

found to lose their

memmories

Correct your spelling

memories

, and the

numbers

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number

show examples

people

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got the

Verb problem

who have

show examples

metabolism disorder diseases

due to

Linking Words

lacking of

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

and going outdoors increased significantly. In conclusion, I

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

agree that the inventions of electronic devices caused

people

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being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

addictive

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

to them and

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

brought

a negative

Correct the article-noun agreement

negative health issues

a negative health issue

show examples

health

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issues

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

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People

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should consider

to reduce

Change the verb form

reducing

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

of these

convinient equipments

Correct your spelling

convenient equipment

and

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

physical

activity

Use synonyms

to improve their physical and mental

health

Use synonyms

phuonghoaThu Jan 23 2025

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spelling grammar

Pay attention to spelling errors and minor grammatical mistakes.

sentence structure

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relevance clarity

Make sure the examples you provide are directly relevant to the point you are discussing.

structure

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the essay.

relevance

The essay successfully addresses the prompt, offering relevant arguments.

depth analysis

Good attempt at explaining the effects of electronic devices on physical activity and health.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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