IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.
#worker #four #countries #workers #people
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The table presents the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers who move
temporary
Change the adjective
temporarily
show examples
 to another country in 2003 and 2006 for 4
diffrent regins
Correct your spelling
different regions
. The
number
Use synonyms
 count
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to workers per 1000 people in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, in total New Zealand recorded the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of temporary migrant
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 Australia was in second
number
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, The United Kingdom and The United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 were the least countries
have
Wrong verb form
that had
show examples
 migrant
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 per 1000 people in 2006. At the onset ,during 2003 The United States was the dominant with 577,000 ,
while
Linking Words
 Australia and The United Kingdom numbers
record
Wrong verb form
recorded
show examples
 152000 ,137000
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 New Zealand was with the least
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of people . On the
onother
Correct your spelling
other
 hand , during 2006
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
The United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
wit
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same position with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of both given years .Australia
The
Correct word choice
and The
show examples
 United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 close to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 with 219,000 and 266,000
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.New Zealand record
also
Linking Words
 the lower numbers of migrant workers.
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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