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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?

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In today's world,
technology
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 is growing at a fast pace.
Children
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 are growing up in a very different environment compared to the past.
This
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 rapid development of
technology
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 brings some problems for both society and families.
First,
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many
children
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 spend too much time using electronic devices like smartphones, tablets, and computers.
This
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 can lead to health problems,
such
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 as eye strain and poor posture.
Additionally
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,
children
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 may not get enough exercise, which is important for their physical and mental well-being.
Second,
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technology
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 can affect the way
children
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 communicate with others.
Instead
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 of talking face-to-face, many kids prefer texting or chatting online.
This
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 can lead to a lack of social skills, making it harder for them to build strong relationships in real life. It can
also
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 make
children
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 feel more isolated, as they may not have the same level of connection with their peers.
Moreover
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, families are
also
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 affected by the rise of
technology
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. Parents may find it difficult to control what their
children
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 are exposed to on the internet. There are concerns about online safety, as
children
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 may access harmful content or even become victims of cyberbullying. In conclusion,
while
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technology
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 has many benefits, it
also
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 brings challenges for both society and families. It is important to find a balance between using
technology
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 and spending time in more traditional ways to ensure the healthy development of
children
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. Parents and society must work together to guide
children
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 in the right direction.

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task achievement
To enhance the response, provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, such as statistics or studies on children's screen time and health issues.
coherence
For clearer coherence, consider using varied sentence structures and transitions to connect ideas smoothly throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task with strong coverage of relevant issues related to technology's impact.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, giving the essay a clear beginning and end.
coherence
Logical structure is maintained, with main ideas organized into separate paragraphs, contributing to overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • face-to-face interactions
  • family bonds
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • healthcare system
  • quality of life
  • educational inequalities
  • social skills
  • real-life interactions
  • communicate effectively
  • cybersecurity risks
  • cyberbullying
  • online predators
  • inappropriate content
  • overreliance
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • critical thinking skills
  • monitor and regulate
  • conflicts
  • stress
  • technology usage
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