Majority of people believe building more spots facility is a good way for government to improve people's health while others do not think so. What is your opinion.

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Many
people
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believe that building more
sports
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facilities
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is a good way for the government to improve
people
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's
health
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,
while
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others disagree. In my opinion, building more
sports
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facilities
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is a positive step to help improve public
health
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.
Firstly
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, having more
sports
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facilities
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makes it easier for
people
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to exercise regularly. When
people
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have easy access to gyms,
sports
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centers
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centres
show examples
, or parks, they are more likely to engage in physical activities. Regular exercise helps prevent
health
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problems like heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. It
also
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improves mental
health
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by reducing stress and anxiety.
Secondly
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,
sports
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facilities
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encourage
people
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of all ages to be active. Children can participate in team
sports
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, which teach them important skills like teamwork and discipline. Adults can use the
facilities
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to stay fit, and older
people
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can
also
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take part in low-impact activities that keep them healthy.
This
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can lead to a healthier population
overall
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.
However
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, some
people
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argue that simply building
sports
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facilities
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is not enough. They believe that promoting healthy eating habits and education about fitness are
also
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important.
While
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these points are valid, I think that having proper
sports
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facilities
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is a good starting point for encouraging a healthier lifestyle. In conclusion, I believe that building more
sports
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facilities
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is an effective way for the government to improve
people
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's
health
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. It provides everyone with the opportunity to be active and stay healthy, which benefits society as a whole.
Submitted by muzun0612 on

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or statistical data to reinforce your argument about the importance of sports facilities.
task achievement
Try to expand on the counterarguments and address them more thoroughly to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical flow in the introduction to guide the reader smoothly into your main points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that is maintained throughout the response.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a central idea, promoting coherence.
coherence cohesion
Concluding thoughts effectively summarize the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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