IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the causes of injuries in Australia for teenagers and the general population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the causes of injuries in Australia for teenagers and the general population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
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The table below provides information about nine
cases
Use synonyms
 of injuries for young males and females from
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
bigget
Correct your spelling
biggest
 proportion of
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
 in
falls
Fix the agreement mistake
fall accidents
show examples
accident
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least in exposure to heat, smoke and fire. As can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the number of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
 and males
Use synonyms
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 in falls
cases
Use synonyms
 was the biggest at 720 and 193,
while
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest number
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of accident
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 in
Add an article
the complication
a complication
show examples
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
show examples
 of medical care
340
Add a missing verb
were 340
show examples
 and 349
cases
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
car
Correct quantifier usage
number of car
show examples
 occupant at 232 and 186
cases
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher. Meanwhile
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
Use synonyms
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 types
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of accident
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 was under 60 people.
Firstly
Linking Words
,Pedestrian, accidental
poisoing
Correct your spelling
poisoning
 and exposure to eat, smoke and fire.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cases, accident with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "falls" was used 2 times.
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