IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In the recent epoch, saving
money
Use synonyms
 has become a mandatory need for both the elderly and younger generations. I am of the belief that maintaining a specific amount of income can help dependents to
travel
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, and ensure obtaining high-priced remedies for old people. In the beginning, the current generations have requested to
travel
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 around the globe to entertain themselves, and
this
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 may impose a financial strain on their families. To explain, if juveniles save part of their budget, they will pamper themselves easily without adding extra loads on their breadwinners.
For instance
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, numerous teenagers in Gulf countries could
travel
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 abroad because they have their own pocket
money
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, and
as a result
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, they have become autonomous people, and
also
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 decision-makers.
Therefore
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, what can be said is that saving
money
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 could teach millennials how to
travel
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 without pestering their guardians.
Moreover
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, keeping some substantial sums throughout the years will lead to owning an enormous wealth to act as a spare in critical situations
such
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 as illnesses. When grandparents feel sick,
this
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 will require a massive quantity of
money
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 to obtain good health.
For example
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, Alzheimer's disease requires specific treatments
,
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apply
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 and specialised experts, and
this
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 costs high expenditures.
Thus
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, it is suggested to save some
money
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 for these emergencies, and in order to be prepared for the future. In conclusion, by highlighting the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that depending on savings has become quintessential for current and old generations. I think that minors should rely on themselves, financially, and parents have to save part of their salaries to help with catastrophic situations.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay clearly addresses the 'to what extent' aspect of the question by explicitly stating your level of agreement or disagreement and reinforcing it consistently throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Try to consistently link ideas between paragraphs with smooth transitions to enhance the logical flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating your main ideas well.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the discussion on Alzheimer's in the context of saving money, effectively support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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