IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays
visiting
Punctuation problem
, visiting
show examples
 a new location as a tourist has become easier than in the past.
This
Linking Words
 is a positive change because individuals can discover new cultures and
also
Linking Words
 practise a language
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
excess
Correct word choice
an excessive
show examples
 number of guests in major cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
rasing
Use the right word
raising
show examples
 the costs of living for residents and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a negative impact on the local environment. I believe that,
Linking Words
overall
Punctuation problem
overall,
show examples
 the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks because it brings people closer.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 to a new country is the easiest way to
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
 local customs and language.
While
Linking Words
 televisions and books can help with discovering a particular nation, only by visiting it
people can
Correct word order
can people
show examples
 fully interact with the locals and not only understand their culture but
also
Linking Words
 practise the language.
For example
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to Latin America during the carnival season would allow
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to listen to local musicians
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not play on the radio, and at the same time learn some specific words and their common use.
However
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 an increased number of visitors
housing
Punctuation problem
, housing
show examples
 costs for
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 destination are much higher
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the pollution rate. As
such
Linking Words
, some landlords would
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to rent out their apartments to guests at a much higher price, leaving residents with limited and expensive options.
Also
Linking Words
, large numbers of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 increase the transportation usage in a particular area, and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the air quality is affected. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international tourism
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some disadvantages for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 housing market and environment, the benefits of discovering and sharing a new culture with native residents outweigh them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Use simple link words to link ideas (for example, first, next, also, however).
structure
Make the intro and the conclusion clear and tied to the idea. State your view in the first line.
content
Add more specific examples from life, not only a carnival. Give facts or numbers if possible.
task
Clear view that benefits outweigh costs.
coherence
Paragraphs have a plan with pros and cons.
content
Some good example (carnival) used.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: