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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In contemporary society, international
tourism
Use synonyms
 has become significantly more accessible to the general public
due to
Linking Words
 advancements in transportation and the rise of affordable
travel
Use synonyms
 options.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend poses certain challenges, particularly regarding environmental degradation, I firmly believe that the economic and cultural benefits of widespread global
travel
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 far outweigh its drawbacks.On the one hand, the expansion of global
tourism
Use synonyms
 has undeniable negative consequences. The most pressing issue is environmental damage, driven primarily by the massive carbon footprint of commercial aviation. Increased air
travel
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 accelerates climate change,
while
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 popular destinations often suffer from
localized
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localised
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 pollution and habitat destruction.
Furthermore
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, many historic cities experience overtourism, where an overwhelming influx of visitors strains local infrastructure, inflates housing costs, and disrupts the daily lives of residents. In some cases, unique cultural traditions risk being
commercialized
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commercialised
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 or eroded to cater exclusively to foreign tastes.
On the other hand
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, the advantages of accessible international
travel
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 are profound and
multi-faceted
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multifaceted
. Economically,
tourism
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 serves as a crucial lifeline for many developing nations. It creates millions of jobs in hospitality, transport, and retail, injecting foreign currency directly into local communities and funding public infrastructure projects. Culturally, international
travel
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 fosters global citizenship and mutual understanding. When individuals visit other nations, they break down stereotypes, broaden their perspectives, and develop empathy for different lifestyles.
This
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 widespread cultural exchange reduces international friction and builds a more interconnected, tolerant world. On a personal level, the ability to explore the world enriches lives and provides educational opportunities that were once reserved only for the wealthy.In conclusion,
although
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 the rise in international
tourism
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 brings notable environmental and social challenges, these can be mitigated through sustainable
travel
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 practices and better regulation. The immense economic relief it brings to communities and the vital role it plays in fostering global harmony ensure that the positive impacts of
this
Linking Words
 development greatly exceed the negative ones.

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task response
Your answer clearly says that the good points are greater than the bad points. To make it even stronger, add one real or clear example, such as a small town where travel gives work to local people.
task response
You explain both sides well. You could also say more clearly why the bad effects can be controlled, for example by limits on visitor numbers, cleaner planes, or rules for waste.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, one part on problems, one part on good points, and an ending. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”, make the ideas easy to follow. You could use a few more simple links inside long parts, such as “For example” or “As a result”, to make each step even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and contain many ideas. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
task response
You answer the main question directly and keep your view clear from the opening to the end.
task response
The points about jobs, money for local areas, learning, and better understanding between people are useful and well connected to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear purpose, and the order of ideas is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The final part returns to your main view and gives a clear reason for it.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
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