IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workrers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workrers #weekend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been growing support for the idea of shortening the working
week
Use synonyms
 to allow for a longer weekend.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that the traditional five-day
workweek
Use synonyms
 is sufficient, I believe that reducing working
days
Use synonyms
 would benefit
employees
Use synonyms
 by alleviating
stress
Use synonyms
 and increasing
productivity
Use synonyms
. One significant advantage of a shorter
workweek
Use synonyms
 is the reduction in
stress
Use synonyms
 levels among workers. Many
employees
Use synonyms
 face demanding schedules and high-pressure environments, leading to burnout and decreased well-being. A longer weekend would provide people with more time to relax, pursue personal interests, and spend quality time with family and friends.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent trial conducted by a technology company in New Zealand found that a four-day
workweek
Use synonyms
 led to a 40% reduction in employee
stress
Use synonyms
 levels, as workers had more time to recharge. By promoting
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 work-life balance, a shorter
workweek
Use synonyms
 could result in healthier and happier
employees
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to reducing
stress
Use synonyms
, fewer working
days
Use synonyms
 could enhance
productivity
Use synonyms
. Research indicates that longer hours do not necessarily lead to greater output, as
productivity
Use synonyms
 often declines towards the end of the
week
Use synonyms
. A study by Stanford University revealed that
employees
Use synonyms
 working four
days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 maintained the same output as those working five
days
Use synonyms
, as they were more focused and efficient during their working hours.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with fewer
days
Use synonyms
 in the office, businesses could save on operational costs, making the arrangement mutually beneficial for both employers and
employees
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly support the proposal for a shorter working
week
Use synonyms
. By reducing
stress
Use synonyms
 and improving
productivity
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 approach could lead to a healthier, more efficient workforce, benefiting both individuals and organizations.
Submitted by handini.yuniarti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more transition words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between your ideas. This will help to maintain a seamless flow of information throughout your essay.
task achievement
While your response is complete, ensure that each point you make is fully elaborated. Expanding on your points could increase your score.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task question, including well-structured arguments supporting the idea of a shorter workweek.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly presented, effectively outlining and summarizing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: