Some people believe that investing in healthcare is more important than education. To what extent , do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals are of the opinion that
healthcare
Use synonyms
should receive more financial attention from the
government
Use synonyms
rather than
education
Use synonyms
. Personally, I partly/ totally agree/ disagree with
this
Linking Words
suggestion based on some reasons that are explained in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, investing in
healthcare
Use synonyms
should be prioritized
due to
Linking Words
its immense impact on many individuals in society. [ In
this
Linking Words
day and age, the demand for
healthcare
Use synonyms
has increased considerably
due to
Linking Words
the expansion of the population and the prevalence of chronic illnesses affecting older individuals. Without proper investment, the
healthcare
Use synonyms
system may become overwhelmed, making it hard for people to get access to medical support.
This
Linking Words
is why it is extremely important for the
government
Use synonyms
to invest and improve both
healthcare
Use synonyms
facilities and the human resources aspect of it.
Education
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, can offer sustainable development for a nation making it hard to undermine investing in it . Despite the idealistic nature regarding the benefits of
healthcare
Use synonyms
investment , the return that the
government
Use synonyms
can generate is limited given the fact that the cost needs to be absorbed by the
government
Use synonyms
rather than citizens.
However
Linking Words
, when
education
Use synonyms
is improved, the general knowledge level can be boosted. Eventually, the whole society can experience a higher quality of living, and the
government
Use synonyms
can have more resources to develop other aspects,
such
Linking Words
as infrastructure or even
healthcare
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are mixed opinions on determining whether
healthcare
Use synonyms
or
education
Use synonyms
needs to be invested more, I believe that striking a balance would yield an optimal outcome.
While
Linking Words
healthcare
Use synonyms
is needed
due to
Linking Words
the current societal changes,
education
Use synonyms
offers a more sustainable path for development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a more comprehensive explanation of your main points. This can enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing and connect your ideas more smoothly.
positive
Your introduction effectively outlines your main argument, setting the stage for your discussion.
positive
You provided balanced viewpoints on both healthcare and education, showing critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: