🔶Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? 🔸 Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in the number of
individuals
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opting for
alternative
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medicines and
treatments
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over conventional
healthcare
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.
While
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this
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trend reflects a growing interest in holistic and natural
remedies
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, it
also
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raises concerns about its implications for public
health
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. In my opinion,
this
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development has both positive and negative aspects, but the drawbacks outweigh the benefits when viewed in a broader context. On the positive side,
alternative
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medicine
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often emphasizes prevention, personalized care, and a holistic approach to
health
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.
Practices
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such
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as acupuncture, herbal
medicine
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, and yoga,
for instance
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, have been shown to reduce stress, improve mental well-being, and address chronic conditions like back pain.
Moreover
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, these
treatments
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are often perceived as safer and less invasive than pharmaceutical interventions, which sometimes come with severe side effects.
For example
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, a person suffering from insomnia might prefer natural
remedies
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like valerian root tea over sleeping pills to avoid dependency.
Additionally
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, the increasing popularity of
alternative
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medicine
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highlights a desire for more patient-centered care, which can empower
individuals
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to take greater control over their
health
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.
However
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, the negative implications of
this
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trend cannot be ignored. First and foremost, the effectiveness of many
alternative
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treatments
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lacks rigorous scientific validation. Unlike conventional
medicine
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, which is evidence-based and subjected to stringent clinical trials,
alternative
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remedies
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often rely on anecdotal evidence or centuries-old traditions.
This
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can result in
individuals
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foregoing necessary medical interventions for conditions that require urgent attention,
such
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as cancer or heart disease, leading to worsening
health
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outcomes.
For instance
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, some cancer patients delay chemotherapy in
favor
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favour
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of unproven herbal
remedies
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, only to experience disease progression.
Additionally
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, the growing popularity of
alternative
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medicine
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has led to a rise in unregulated
practices
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and fraudulent claims. In some cases, unscrupulous practitioners exploit vulnerable
individuals
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by offering "miracle cures" that are not only ineffective but potentially harmful.
This
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poses a significant risk, especially for people who lack access to reliable information or who are desperate for solutions.
Furthermore
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, the absence of regulatory oversight often means that the quality and safety of
alternative
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products,
such
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as herbal supplements, can vary widely.
Finally
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, the trend of relying on
alternative
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treatments
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may strain the relationship between patients and their doctors. Modern
medicine
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relies on collaboration and trust between
healthcare
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providers and patients. When people prioritize
alternative
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medicine
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over conventional
healthcare
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, they may delay critical diagnoses or
treatments
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, jeopardizing their
health
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in the long run. In conclusion,
while
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the rise of
alternative
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medicine
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reflects a positive shift toward holistic and preventive care, its risks—
such
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as the lack of scientific evidence, potential harm from unregulated
practices
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, and delayed medical intervention—are significant. To ensure the best outcomes,
alternative
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treatments
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should complement, not replace, conventional
medicine
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, and
individuals
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must be well-informed before making
healthcare
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decisions. Governments and
healthcare
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institutions should
also
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focus on integrating scientifically proven
alternative
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therapies into mainstream medical
practices
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, striking a balance between innovation and safety.
Submitted by akylov.a on

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Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is directly tied to your main argument. While this essay is mostly coherent, try to reduce redundancy and make sure each point adds new value to your argument.
Task Response
Double-check for any small grammatical or stylistic errors. While they don't detract from your overall score, polishing your writing can enhance clarity.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction clearly sets up the argument and gives a balanced view, making the reader prepared for a discussion of both pros and cons.
Task Achievement
The essay includes specific examples such as the use of valerian root tea for insomnia and unproven herbal remedies for cancer - this strengthens the argument and task response.
Logical Structure
Logical progression and connection of ideas throughout the essay make it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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