IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A lot of people nowadays are spending too much money and they do not save anything for future use. What are the reasons for people spend too much? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In today’s society, a significant number of
individuals
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 are spending excessively and failing to save for their future.
This
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 trend can be attributed to several factors, and
while
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 it may offer some immediate gratification, it ultimately represents a negative development. One of the primary reasons for
this
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 spending
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 is the influence of consumer culture. With the rise of advertising and social media, people are constantly bombarded with messages that encourage them to purchase the latest products.
This
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 creates a sense of urgency and a fear of missing out, leading
individuals
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 to prioritize spending over saving.
For example
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, young adults often feel pressured to buy expensive gadgets or fashion items to keep up with their peers. Another contributing factor is the availability of credit. Many people have access to credit cards and loans, which makes it easier to spend beyond their means.
This
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 can lead to a cycle of debt, where
individuals
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 find themselves in a position where they cannot save anything for the future. The ease of online shopping
further
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 exacerbates
this
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 situation, making it simple to make impulsive purchases without considering the long-term consequences.
While
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 some may argue that spending stimulates the economy and supports businesses, I believe that
this
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 trend is largely negative. Excessive spending can lead to financial instability and stress, as
individuals
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 may struggle to meet their financial obligations.
Moreover
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, a lack of savings can result in insecurity during emergencies,
such
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 as job loss or health issues. In the long run,
this
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behavior
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behaviour
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 can undermine personal well-being and societal stability. In conclusion, the tendency to spend excessively rather than save is driven by consumer culture and easy access to credit.
Although
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 it may provide short-term satisfaction, it ultimately poses significant risks to
individuals
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 and society as a whole.

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example
Include more specific examples or data to enhance your reasoning. For instance, you can mention statistical data showing the increase in credit card usage or social media influence on spending habits.
elaboration
While introducing the long-term consequences of excessive spending on society is beneficial, you could expand on how it affects economic stability beyond just individual financial stress.
content
The essay clearly addresses all parts of the task, discussing both reasons for excessive spending and its negative implications.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, with the former effectively setting the context and the latter summarizing the key points succinctly.
coherence
The logical division of ideas and smooth transition between paragraphs contribute to a coherent argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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