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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students, PhD students, and junior lecturers at an Australian university.

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The given charts illustrate the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 at Australian universities who read journal articles every
week
Use synonyms
 based on categories of all
students
Use synonyms
, PhD
students
Use synonyms
, and junior
lecturers
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
students
Use synonyms
 display that they have less
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
 to read the journal,
while
Linking Words
 PhD
students
Use synonyms
most
Add a missing verb
are most
show examples
 intensive, and junior
Use synonyms
lecturers
Add a verb
lecturers are
lecturers were
show examples
 moderately
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the majority 67% of all
students
Use synonyms
 have 1 to 5
times
Use synonyms
 to explore the journal article every
week
Use synonyms
, and 21% more intense 6 to 11.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are 12 % who read more than 12
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 80% of PhD
students
Use synonyms
 have a massive habit of reading
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 journal article every
week
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are 15% moderately read 6 to 11 per
week
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are 5 % that take less frequent to read every
week
Use synonyms
 at 1 to 5
times
Use synonyms
. Another trend is that a third of junior
lecturers
Use synonyms
 prefer to read 6 to 11
times
Use synonyms
 weekly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, almost half of the junior
lecturers
Use synonyms
 have read more than 12
times
Use synonyms
 every
week
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, only 1% of them read 1 to 6
times
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, week, lecturers, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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