In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travel to large shoping malls to do their shoping. is this a positive or negative development.
Nowadays most small businesses haven't developed, one of the businesses is small shops because some clients prefer to visit the supermarket or huge mall. One hand, it is positively affected
for
a big business but Change preposition
apply
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
this
phenomenon impacts negative action for some small traders. In Linking Words
this
essay, I would like to mention both effects and I show my personal view.
Linking Words
Last
three decades, most cities have developed rapidly, and the population has grown. Linking Words
Therefore
, as the resident's buying ability increases, they can go shopping in large amounts. So citizens of large cities use cars and Linking Words
they
travel to big shopping malls or if they get service from convenience chain Correct pronoun usage
apply
stores
who want to go to the closest shop in their home. Use synonyms
For example
, in the Linking Words
last
six Linking Words
years
they opened 56 branch convenience Add a comma
years,
stores
named CU. Those Use synonyms
stores
work everywhere in my city, which has been invested Use synonyms
from
South Korea. There is a sale that everybody needs.
Change preposition
in in
On the other hand
, some small traders or owners of little shops have failed their business since opening these chain convenience Linking Words
stores
. It is very hard to develop their business Use synonyms
due to
they already have a lot of debt from Linking Words
bank
or finance organizations. Customers are very curious, they like to visit other new Fix the agreement mistake
banks
stores
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
in
studies have shown Change preposition
apply
last
five years received bankrupts over 30 tiny traders in Ulaanbaatar city, who were Linking Words
trader grocery
included common use.
In conclusion, the good news is that some businesses are thriving successfully, Fix the agreement mistake
traders groceries
such
as huge department Linking Words
stores
, comfortable malls, and chain grocery Use synonyms
stores
. They can provide numerous employees of Use synonyms
this
city. But in my opinion, our government has to consider small shop owners, because they need more information or sufficient finance sources to survive.Linking Words
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task achievement
Strengthen your task response by clearly addressing whether this is a positive or negative development. While you mentioned both sides, you could make your stance clearer in the introduction and the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using more linking phrases to connect different ideas and points more smoothly, especially between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples that directly support your points. Your mention of studies is good, but more specific data or scenarios could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a good introduction and conclusion, giving your essay a clear beginning and end.
task achievement
You've identified both positive and negative aspects of the issue, demonstrating balanced analysis.
task achievement
Attempted to support your points with examples, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...