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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map illustrates the changes and developments in the village of Ryemouth from 1995 to the present.

The map illustrates the changes and developments in the village of Ryemouth from 1995 to the present.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of imported
seafood
Use synonyms
 to the UK,
while
Linking Words
 the table reveals the total amount of imported
seafood
Use synonyms
 (units are measured in millions of dollars).
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first
year
Use synonyms
, Poland had the highest of imported
seafood
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
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 the UK,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, it was Sweden.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the total amount of imported
seafood
Use synonyms
 increased in the over of years given. With regards to Poland, it fell dramatically from 65% in 1987 to 30% in 2007,
whereas
Linking Words
 Sweden became the largest in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 from 28% in the first
year
Use synonyms
 to 43%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Germany had the lowest percentage in 1987, which jumped from 7% to 27% in 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the table shows the growth in the total value of imported
seafood
Use synonyms
 in the USA.
However
Linking Words
, it was 7.4 million dollars in 1987 before rising quickly to 12.3 million dollars in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words seafood, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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