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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries most shops and products become identical some people thinks that it is positive development and others think this an negative impact

#countries #shops #products #people #development #impact
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In many countries, the trend of shops and
products
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 becoming identical has sparked a debate among people. On one hand, some argue that
this
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 is a positive development because it creates convenience for consumers. Shoppers can easily find the
products
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 they are familiar with, which can save time and effort.
Additionally
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, the competition among stores selling identical
products
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 may lead to lower prices, benefiting consumers financially.
On the other hand
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, others view
this
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 as a negative impact. The lack of variety can lead to consumer boredom and dissatisfaction, as people often appreciate having diverse options to choose from.
Furthermore
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, smaller brands may struggle to compete against larger companies offering identical
products
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, which can reduce market diversity and innovation. In summary,
while
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 there are clear advantages to having identical
products
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 in many shops,
such
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 as convenience and competitive pricing, there are
also
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 significant drawbacks, including reduced variety and potential harm to smaller businesses.
Submitted by sidhukomal096 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate the points made about identical shops and products, which could enhance the realism and relatability of your argument.
task achievement
Further elaborate on how identical shops and products affect different stakeholder groups, such as consumers, small businesses, and large corporations, to enhance the depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a good logical flow, linking the ideas within paragraphs explicitly could improve cohesion. Use cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'As a result', or 'However' to link ideas more clearly.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument about the identical nature of shops and products, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion guide the reader through the argument effectively, providing a solid structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each point is well-supported within the scope of the essay, providing a reasonable foundation for the arguments made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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