IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Celebrities complain that their privacy is being invaded by the media. Some people say that they shouldn't complain while others say that celebrities deserve privacy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
 present world, famous
people
Use synonyms
 do not have their own privacy, because of different social media. Some
people
Use synonyms
 including me, support that
people
Use synonyms
 who are famous can
also
Linking Words
 have their own space,
while
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 others are against it. Celebrities cannot go out, because of cameras
furthermore
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, individuals take pictures
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere they go. Nowadays it is so easy to get fame through the internet
for example
Linking Words
, societies are able to post videos and pictures on any internet platform.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 is
also
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 dangerous, because
people
Use synonyms
 cannot control how many
people
Use synonyms
,
additionally
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 what kind of
people
Use synonyms
 will see them. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming well-known by the media, the individuals are just posting videos on the internet, and becoming famous the next day
for example
Linking Words
, societies actually post videos either, and photos to save, but without even knowing, they are becoming famous, and social media is creating memes for them.
To sum up
Linking Words
,I assume that the apps need to put limits or make features for the users. It would be better if social apps
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 create privacy for each person.

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task achievement
Develop your arguments more fully. Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas to ensure that your viewpoint is well supported.
task achievement
Use specific examples to strengthen your argument. Feature examples that are directly related to the topic and can illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connections between your points. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are fully developed and supported to enhance the overall argument and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a conventional structure with an introduction and conclusion, maintaining a sense of coherence.
task achievement
The topic is addressed, and there is a clear position presented, showing awareness of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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