IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that helping all poor
countries
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 around the world is difficult ,
instead
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, we have to focus on our nation and
country
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. I agree with
this
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 view for several reasons, I will present it in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with , regardless of how the global community suffering from poverty, each
country
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 has their own problems with a tremendous number of
people
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 who struggle to survive ,
therefore
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 it is essential to prioritize them .
For instance
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 , recent studies have shown that the proportion of poor
people
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 in African
countries
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 reached 70 per cent of
people
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 who are unable to find clean water , even though the study showed that the same
country
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 donated roughly a million every year to another neighbour.
Therefore
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 ,I think those who live within the
country
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 deserve that money first
Moreover
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 , I believe that more excessive donations lead to high pressure on the economy .
For example
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 , every society has its own specific budget every year for its development , so helping their citizen and foreign at the same time creates a deficit , which makes it impossible to assist the whole developing
countries
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 ,
in addition
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, even if some
countries
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 are considered wealthy they still not need to help any
country
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 because the domestic issue is more crucial than another thing.
To sum up
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 ,
while
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 it is humane to give a hand to
people
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 who need it ,
however
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 , in my opinion, I strongly find it difficult to help all these
countries
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 , so governments should prioritize their citizens and focus on solving internal problems

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are clearly explained.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Addressed both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear conclusion is present summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
Logical sequence of ideas is generally maintained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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