IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today credit cards are easy to get in many countries, but some people who use them struggle to pay their debt. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Credit
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cards
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 are easily accessible in many countries, and
while
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 they
offer
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 convenience, some
people
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 struggle to pay off their debts. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both the advantages and
disadvantages
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 of
credit
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cards
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 and argue that the
disadvantages
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 can sometimes outweigh the advantages. On the positive side,
credit
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cards
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offer
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 a lot of convenience. They allow
people
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 to make purchases without carrying cash and are widely accepted in many places.
Additionally
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,
credit
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cards
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 can be useful in emergencies,
such
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 as when unexpected expenses arise. Some
cards
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also
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offer
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 rewards,
such
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 as cashback or travel points, which can be beneficial for those who use them responsibly.
Furthermore
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, using a
credit
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 card can help build a good
credit
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 history if payments are made on time.
However
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, there are significant
disadvantages
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 to using
credit
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cards
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. One of the main issues is that many
people
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 accumulate debt because they do not pay off their balance in full each month.
This
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 leads to
high-interest
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high interest
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 rates, which can quickly increase the amount of money owed. In some cases,
people
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 become trapped in a cycle of debt, which can negatively impact their financial stability and cause stress.
Moreover
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, the ease of getting
credit
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cards
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 can encourage reckless spending, leading to financial problems for those who are not careful. In conclusion,
while
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credit
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cards
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offer
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 convenience and benefits, they can
also
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 lead to serious financial issues for those who do not manage them properly.
Therefore
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, I believe the
disadvantages
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 can sometimes outweigh the advantages, especially for individuals who struggle with debt.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more detailed and specific examples of how credit card rewards work or common scenarios in which people fall into debt. This makes your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking phrases or transition words to smoothly connect your ideas. This will increase the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making the central argument easy to follow.
supported main points
You effectively highlight both pros and cons of credit cards, maintaining a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • credit history
  • financial flexibility
  • emergencies
  • cashback
  • travel points
  • discounts
  • budget management
  • interest rates
  • fees
  • debt
  • credit scores
  • loans
  • mortgages
  • impulsive spending
  • financial difficulties
  • penalties
  • financial strain
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