More and more people buy and use their own car. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals overweigh the disadvantages for environment?
As the economy constantly develops, there are increasing numbers of households owning private
cars
. Use synonyms
This
trend has raised the debate about whether the merits of the trend overweight its potential disadvantages. From my perspective, though with many advantages, damages brought about by Linking Words
this
trend cannot compensate for its harm to the environment.
Before setting out private Linking Words
cars
' problems, I have to confess that the popularisation of private Use synonyms
cars
does bring many conveniences to ordinary people. For illustration, my mother once recalled that when I was an infant and suffered from a fever, she had to send me to the hospital by bicycle with the risk of falling into channels. In clear contrast with Use synonyms
this
, my elder sister drives her son to the hospital without having to worry about Linking Words
such
danger.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, as public transport systems develop increasingly sophisticatedly and humanistically, safety and convenience are no longer exclusive to private Linking Words
cars
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, there are not as many reasons as twenty years ago when speaking about private Linking Words
cars
. In Use synonyms
this
circumstance, private Linking Words
cars
' damage to the environment is becoming unacceptable. Use synonyms
For example
, the UN has long enlisted car waste as one of the primary causes of global warming, which is threatening both our and our posterity's happiness, or even survival. Recent extreme climates across the world, Linking Words
such
as the flood in China, and the aridity in Sudan have awakened people to these kinds of risks.
To summarise, admittedly private Linking Words
cars
as a successful industrial product have brought us many conveniences, but with the looming of climate change, I personally do not consider it indispensable. Private Use synonyms
cars
' harm to the environment has outweighed their advantages, and Use synonyms
hence
we had better turn to public transport systems.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a balanced argument. However, try to further elaborate on how public transportation systems have improved in modern times to reinforce your point.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a more varied range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between your points. For example, transitions like “Furthermore, ...”, “On the other hand, ...”, or “Therefore, ...” can make your argument flow more smoothly.
general
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and try to use a more diverse vocabulary to make your arguments more compelling. For instance, instead of repeating 'conveniences', you could use alternatives like 'benefits', 'advantages', or 'amenities'.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, especially the personal anecdote about your mother and sister.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and aptly summarize the main argument, giving the essay a strong structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.