Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing

problems

Use synonyms

are

undenieably

Correct your spelling

undeniably

huge contributors to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

issues. I wholly agree with the

ideas

Fix the agreement mistake

idea

show examples

the government should focus on addressing those factors as part of their efforts to prevent illness and

disease

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

believe that other holistic approach, education and

healthacare

Correct your spelling

healthcare

health care

health-care

access, plays vital

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

as well. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, reducing environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

as air, water and soil

contimation

Correct your spelling

contamination

can lead to several

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

respiratory

Change preposition

as respiratory

show examples

diarrhea

Change the spelling

diarrhoea

show examples

, and even cancer.

For instance

Linking Words

, long-term exposure to air

pollution

Use synonyms

can lead to respiratory

problems

Use synonyms

like lung cancer and asthma. By encouraging, stricter regulations,

promoting

Correct word choice

and promoting

show examples

renewable energy, and sustainable practices, governments can significantly reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

-related

health

Use synonyms

risks.

Similarly

Linking Words

, reducing housing

problems

Use synonyms

is vital. Poor housing conditions, like overcrowding,

high-housing

Correct your spelling

high housing

show examples

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

, substandard conditions, and lack of proper sanitation could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to contagious

Use synonyms

disease

Change the noun form

diseases

show examples

like tuberculosis and respiratory infections. By providing

incetives

Correct your spelling

incentives

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

to promote affordable housing, it can improve the standard of living and reduce

health

Use synonyms

inequalities, especially among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vulnerable populations.

While

Linking Words

, these measures are essential, focusing solely on environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

may not be sufficient. Other factors like

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

promoting

Correct article usage

the accesibility

show examples

accesibility

Correct your spelling

accessibility

of healthcare,

raising

Correct word choice

and raising

show examples

awareness of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy lifestyle play crucial

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

in preventing

disease

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, lifestyle-related

Use synonyms

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

like diabetes could be

educated

Verb problem

addressed

show examples

through

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

awareness in education rather than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

environmental and housing

problems

Use synonyms

. In

conclusions

Fix the agreement mistake

conclusion

show examples

, I believe

Change preposition

that

show examples

reducing environmental issues

as well as

Linking Words

improving housing conditions are essential to prevent

health

Use synonyms

risks,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

should be part of a broader and comprehensive strategy. Governments should be able to tackle all the

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

to achieve sustainable and effective

health

Use synonyms

outcomes.

alyaparamestiTue Jan 28 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on reducing spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'undenieably', 'neccessary', and 'contimation'.

clarity

Ensure that each point is clearly explained and expanded upon, particularly when introducing new ideas.

cohesion

Enhance the cohesion between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases.

development

Expand on examples to provide a more robust development of your arguments.

task response

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, identifying key issues related to environmental pollution and housing problems.

structure

A clear introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.

support

Good attempt to include specific examples to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pollution control
respiratory diseases
cardiovascular diseases
overcrowding
renewable energy
waste management
building standards
affordable housing
emissions
environmental regulations
mental health problems
damp
ventilation
lifestyle factors
healthcare access

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In the present age, whether dedicating the whole time for one particular discipline provide more benefits than learning about extra subjects has sparked much debate. Some people assert that studying only one area can make you more attractive specialist whereas many others argue that this can lead to narrow-mindedness. Personally, I deeply believe that our attention is limited, therefore, giving it to one subject that we are fond of is a wiser option.
4
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development
At present time ,some companies advertise their new products to showcase the function of products to attract customers.In this essay, I will explain both sides of perspectives and overall my opinion .
5.5
band
Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society that there are courses which are based on parents' education .To what extent you agree or disagree.
Taking care of kids in the community is the most vital activity . Guardians should be required to take a course that is specialized for preparing to be good fathers and mothers. I am in complete agreement with this statement. Reasons including examples are given in sequence with good concepts.
5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently, more and more people are attempting to take different medicines and treatments rather than asking for advice from doctors whom they are familiar with. The development of this phenomenon may have its pros and cons.
6
band
You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: describe the vacation spot you have chosen explain how you plan to spend your time there invite your friend to join you on your vacation.
I'm writing this letter to invite you to join my family vacation to Iceland. I was over the moon to hear about the winter holiday for our school, it is longer than the usual holiday.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society that there are courses which are based on parents' education .To what extent you agree or disagree.

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: describe the vacation spot you have chosen explain how you plan to spend your time there invite your friend to join you on your vacation.