Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There have been quite a large amount of movies and programmes that have been aired in the past decade all portraying different genres within the cinema world as
such
tailored to meet the satisfaction of its customers.
This
however
has led to a development of opposing views from the general public with some being of the opinion that some of the content being televised
such
as violent scenes have prompted aggressive behaviour in reality. In
this
essay, l would like to discuss both views and give reasons as to why l agree with the given statement.
To begin
with, it is largely arguable that they are to blame for the conduct of certain individuals within the society.
Thus
, some of the scenes that are shown or acted out by our favourite actors may seem to be amusing when watched at
first,
however
, in actual fact they will be doing great damage to us psychologically, to illustrate, there have been a lot of gang violence and shooting within the younger generation in USA and UK, and most of it has stemmed from actions in movies and shows like Top Boy which they have adopted as a lifestyle and means to survival as
such
it is not a surprise to see a teenager carrying a gun or knife
that is
why
as a result
many of them are serving time in jail.
Moreover
, a streaming service called Netflix has introduced a parental tool where parents monitor what their children watch to reduce
such
incidences of children learning the wrong things online.
On the other hand
,
such
brutality can be caused by other factors
besides
the influence of motion pictures.
Initially
, people may suffer from emotional and physical trauma which later fuels cruelty,
for instance
, statistics have shown that most people who practice being cruel may have been victims of physical abuse at a tender age like domestic violence and being bullied which are both traumatic experiences that alter a person's behaviour for the worst. In conclusion,
while
it is recognisable to say there are other factors that can promote
such
way of behaving
such
as traumatic episodes within one's life, in fact, what we watch and see has to a greater extent a much larger impact and
also
the reason why am in total agreement with it.
Submitted by teterayithelma on

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task response
While the essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, the argumentation in the main body needs further development. Make sure to clearly differentiate between the opposing views and provide more detailed reasons for your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical connections between your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to enhance the coherence and overall readability of the essay.
task response
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and outlines the discussion points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay concludes with a clear restatement of the writer's opinion, which helps to reinforce the overall argument.
task response
Relevant examples, such as references to the USA and UK, Netflix, and specific TV shows like Top Boy, are provided to support the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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