IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and chart below show the averate monthly maximum temperatures and the average monthly rainfall in two Australian cities, Darwin and Sydney. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below show the averate monthly maximum temperatures and the average monthly rainfall in two Australian cities, Darwin and Sydney. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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In the
graph
Use synonyms
 and
chart
Use synonyms
 shown, there is
information
Use synonyms
 provided about
two
Use synonyms
 separate topics, which are: the
alerage
Correct your spelling
average
 highest monthly temperatures and the
alerage
Correct your spelling
average
 monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in
two
Use synonyms
 different cities. These are
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 and Darwin,
both
Use synonyms
 located in Australia.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
information
Use synonyms
 is divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 12 months for
both
Use synonyms
, the
chart
Use synonyms
 and the
graph
Use synonyms
. In the
graph
Use synonyms
, it is evident that Darwin has reached higher temperatures than
Sydrey
Correct your spelling
Sydney
 by a difference of about 10 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
, plus a large decrease of almost another 10 degrees in
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occurs
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
Apri
Correct your spelling
April
show examples
 until
nolember
Correct your spelling
november
, a great
mayority ofl
Correct your spelling
majority of
 the year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
chart
Use synonyms
 below demonstrates that Darwin has had drastic changes regarding
rainfall
Use synonyms
 throughout the year. Starting at 450 milimetres per mouth during the first month of the first month of the year, decreasing until reaching almost 0
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
: and
then
Linking Words
 increasing once more during December to about 260. In conclusion,
both
Use synonyms
 provide valuable
information
Use synonyms
 about
two
Use synonyms
 Known cities in Australia, providing the viewer with hard data about the highest temperatures and the
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 locations.
Finally
Linking Words
, by comparing the
information
Use synonyms
 in the
chart
Use synonyms
 and the
graph
Use synonyms
; there is a noticeable
reation
Correct your spelling
reaction
relation
 between the
two
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may be confirmed through pure logic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since when temperature rises,
rainfall
Use synonyms
 tends to disappear.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, chart, information, two, rainfall, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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