IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
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 some believe that being fit is crucial to
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 good in sports, others argue that being mentally fine is more important.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives and give my opinion. On the one hand, there are several factors affecting a
sport
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sports
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 player's success. Doing exercises regularly and practicing most of the time, are some of them.
Moreover
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, almost every sport category requires a powerful body
such
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 as swimming, boxing, etc.
For example
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,
swimmer
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the swimmer
a swimmer
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 must build muscle to win a competition.
Furthermore
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, to achieve
this
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, most of them wake up really early and go to
exercising
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exercise
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. They do
this
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,
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apply
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 because they are aware of the impacts of having a powerful body.
On the other hand
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, preventing motivation
lost
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loss
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 and courage is as vital as having an athletic physic. In terms of achieving a certain goal, in the manner of winning the tournament.
According to
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 me, no matter how much practice you have done, you have to handle both losing and winning.
For instance
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, some players can have
hard
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a hard
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 time
on
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apply
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focusing. Even though they
practiced
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practised
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 for lots of hours, since their mind is not mentally strong as their body, they are more likely to lose their focus.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 vital to stay calm and be motivational, if the sporter
felt
Wrong verb form
feels
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 behind. To elaborate, I used to be a swimmer and worked out more than my friends.
Nevertheless
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, I was losing motivation easily.
Thus
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, not having a strong mentality, resulted in drawbacks for my swimming career. In conclusion, I believe that having a powerful mind has more benefits than having a fit
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
. Both of its advantages cannot be underestimated.
Nonetheless
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, a winner cannot
be think
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be thought
be thinking
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 of without a strong perspective.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction is clearly structured with a precise thesis statement that covers both views you will discuss. This will strengthen your opening paragraph.
clear comprehensive ideas
While the essay presents clear ideas from both perspectives, try to elaborate further on each point to strengthen your arguments, such as providing more examples or explanations.
logical structure
Work on transitions between paragraphs and points to enhance the flow of your essay, aiding readers in following your argument more easily.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, like the personal story about swimming, to support your points on mental strength.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and presents a clear opinion, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
complete response
You comprehensively covered both perspectives on the role of physical and mental strength in sports, providing a balanced view.
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