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Writing Samples
Band 5

People eat more processed food than they did in the past Why is this? what are the effects of this?

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In the past, people did not eat as much processed
food
Use synonyms
 as we eat today.
This
Linking Words
 has multiple reasons like it is less time consuming and just as nutritious. Having chemically processed
food
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 causes health problems
such
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 as obesity and diabetes, to name a few. People eat more processed
food
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 nowadays as it is almost impossible to find natural products with growing urbanisation
while
Linking Words
 processed foods are easily available in any local store.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
, processed
food
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 is
also
Linking Words
 less
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 to make and provides the body with just as much nutrition as non-processed
food
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.
For example
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, having a fruit salad will give you just as much nutrition as having processed cereals but it will consume much less time. Having processed
food
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also
Linking Words
 has certain side effects. Not all processed
food
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 is unhealthy, like physically processed
food
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 that includes minced meat, boiled vegetables and eggs or cut fruits.
On the other hand
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, chemically processed
food
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 is unhealthy and may cause health issues
such
Linking Words
 as Diabetes, Obesity, high cholesterol levels and
also
Linking Words
 certain types of cancer.
This
Linking Words
 is because chemically processed
food
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 has much more calories, sugar, salt and fats than it has nutrients. They
also
Linking Words
 taste better and may be addictive or easy to overeat. In conclusion, for the past few decades, processed foods have become common in diets throughout the world.
However
Linking Words
, eating large amounts of these foods increases risks to health. A person should eat natural or physically processed
food
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 to stay healthy and fit.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, making them more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the topic and your viewpoint.
task achievement
You present a comprehensive response to the topic by discussing both reasons for the increase in processed food consumption and their effects.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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