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Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph and chart below show the average monthly maximum temperatures and the average monthly rainfall in two Australian cities, Darwin and Sydney. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below show the average monthly maximum temperatures and the average monthly rainfall in two Australian cities, Darwin and Sydney. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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In the provided data, there is information about two topics regarding the same country which are: The average highest
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
temperatures
Use synonyms
 and the monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 cities. These are
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Darwin, located in Australia.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the facts are divided for every
month
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 on either, the graph
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 the chart. In the first section, it is more than evident that Darwin has reached higher
temperatures
Use synonyms
 than
Sydney
Use synonyms
 by a difference of about 10 degrees Celsius, plus a large decrease of almost another 10 degrees in
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occurs
 from April until November, a great portion of the
year
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly, the cities started and ended the
year
Use synonyms
 with extremely similar
temperatures
Use synonyms
. Regardless of the drop during the summer.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the chart below demonstrates that Darwin has had drastic changes concerning
rainfall
Use synonyms
 throughout the
year
Use synonyms
. Starting at 450
milimetres
Correct your spelling
millimetres
 during January, the first
month
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 decreasing until reaching almost 0 millimetres
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 July.
Then
Linking Words
, increasing once more during the very end of the
year
Use synonyms
,
especifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
 during December, to about 260.
This
Linking Words
 happened
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 stayed
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
close to consistent during the entire
year
Use synonyms
. With it’s strongest
month
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 July, but only by a few short millimetres. In conclusion, both give valuable statistics about a pair of cities in Australia, providing the viewer with hard data about the highest
temperatures
Use synonyms
 and the
rainfall
Use synonyms
 per
month
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 in these locations.
Finally
Linking Words
, by comparing the information, in the chart and the graph; there is a noticeable relation between them.
This
Linking Words
 may be confirmed through pure logic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since when temperature rises,
rainfall
Use synonyms
 tends to disappear.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, rainfall, sydney, month, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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