IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

in some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Citizens of many countries are now earning staggering
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money.
Due to
Linking Words
 that some are of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion that it’s beneficial for a nation as it elevates living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, others think that the government should have strict policies that prohibit people from earning above
defined
Add an article
the defined
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
 to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation. Both views are
further
Linking Words
 explained
along with
Linking Words
 my view in conclusion. Having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-income earners in a country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 several merits. The predominant gain is that it lifts the living standard. As people with
above median
Add a hyphen
above-median
show examples
 wage tend to spend more than a person with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited earnings.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 generates tax revenues, creates job opportunities,
as well as
Linking Words
 elevates living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich class citizens love
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to different places frequently, which generates
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 for many locals and the government
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism.
However
Linking Words
, the downsides of
this
Linking Words
 should
also
Linking Words
 be considered. The primary drawback is the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 inflation. Because the rich are able to afford additional costs for the same goods that the underprivileged are buying for much
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
. The case of
Canadian
Add an article
the Canadian
show examples
 housing market is a perfect example of
this
Linking Words
, where the prices went up by almost 50%
due to
Linking Words
 higher demand and low supply, as the higher salaries individuals were able to afford that as well.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
higher earning
Add a hyphen
higher-earning
show examples
 individuals are good for countries economic growth, but the government should constantly monitor the inflation rate. From my perspective, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should invest resources to accurately determine income tax for high-networth individuals and should closely monitor their
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
.
As by
Change preposition
By
show examples
 doing
this
Linking Words
, they can prevent
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major economic crisis.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, referring to specific countries or industries where high salaries have specifically impacted the economy could add depth to your essay.
task achievement
Clarify the link between high salaries and inflation. Consider expanding on this idea with more details or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a balanced discussion of both sides by allotting equal depth and analysis. This ensures both perspectives are treated with importance.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frames the discussion.
logical structure
Ideas are logically structured, allowing readers to follow the argument easily. Each paragraph focuses on one main idea, enhancing readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: