IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday? Do you ageree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
In
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 days, more
people
Use synonyms
 will
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to go on domestic holidays not
over abroad
Replace the word
overseas
show examples
Use synonyms
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
. I totally
agues
Verb problem
support
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement because
tourist
Use synonyms
 palse are developing in
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 and social
medial
Replace the word
media
show examples
infuence
Correct your spelling
influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourisum.
Body paragraph 1
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
people
Use synonyms
 have a lot of
atraction
Correct your spelling
attraction
traction
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the tour
show examples
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
show examples
 and
holidily
Correct your spelling
holidays
,
people
Use synonyms
 want to visit various
places
Use synonyms
 with their family.
In addition
Linking Words
, every year
citizence
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
 go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacation in close
places
Use synonyms
 or out of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 tourism
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 economy
therefore
Linking Words
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 have been
woring
Correct your spelling
working
 on
tourist
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
.
Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 would develop popular
tourist
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
 like ancient
Temple
Fix the agreement mistake
temples
show examples
, Caves and
also
Linking Words
 when
people
Use synonyms
 visit
to place
Change the verb form
places
show examples
 that
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 should pay entrance fees which use in
revenue
Correct article usage
the revenue
show examples
 of
places
Use synonyms
 like
clean
Add an article
the clean
show examples
toilet
Fix the agreement mistake
toilets
show examples
, transportation
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
,
security
Correct word choice
and security
show examples
consiquentlly
Correct your spelling
consequently
people
Use synonyms
 would choose
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, social media has
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 a backbone of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that
infunece on
Verb problem
influences
show examples
tourist
Use synonyms
 attraction which
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 domestic torisum,
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 have a platform to choose
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
holiday
Use synonyms
 and
fun
Add a missing verb
have fun
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 place when they see various photos and vediod of famous
places
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
 they would choose home toun or own
country
Use synonyms
 tour.
AS a result
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can get
Correct article usage
an affortable
show examples
affortable
Correct your spelling
affordable
 rate and
few
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 distance in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
otherwise
Linking Words
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for
Use synonyms
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
the holiday
show examples
 that they have to
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 huge
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
amount and their time.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, foreign
tourist
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
 have been attracted visitors for
Use synonyms
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
today's social
medial
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
 has a strong
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
and
torist
Correct your spelling
tourist
 palse modification can become
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 of
holiday
Use synonyms
 in own
countey's
Change noun form
countey
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a specific place in your country that has become a popular tourist destination.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and organize your ideas logically. Try to make your argument flow more naturally from one point to the next.
language use
Pay attention to the use of complex sentences and vocabulary. This will help you express your ideas more clearly and effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The argument is relevant and on topic, discussing the reasons why more people might choose domestic holidays.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • environmentally sustainable
  • carbon footprint
  • local culture
  • heritage
  • post-pandemic
  • economic benefits
  • support local businesses
  • create jobs
  • stimulate the economy
  • familiarity
  • cultural barriers
  • language barriers
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