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Writing Samples
Band 5

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answers

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Performing exciting challenges with kids can foster their sense of concentration. Playing fun activities can lead to developing children's
skills
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 and creativity rather than reading. I firmly agree with
this
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 notion.
This
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 essay will delve into the reasons in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, first and foremost, doing these tasks offers various benefits to toddlers
such
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 as fine motor
skills
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, eye-hand coordination, and mind development.
For example
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, In solving puzzles, they learn to recognize the
pattern
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patterns
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,
shape
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shapes
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 and
colour
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colours
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 which enhances their cognitive
skills
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.
Moreover
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,
such
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 fun exercises
also
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 help in indulging patience.
For instance
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,
while
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 making a house of small wooden pieces , they will inclined to experience failure sometimes but in the end, they will surely be successful.
Furthermore
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, engaging them in arts and crafts activities allows them to use their imagination in the form of art. These kinds of pursuits provide a safe outlet for children to express their ideas and feelings.
This
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 can
also
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 be important for their emotional development and well-being.
For example
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, parents can organize a craft day on which they not only get a chance to put their imagination into reality but
also
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 can share ideas, emotions and feelings with their peers. Which will strengthen their friendship. In conclusion, no doubt enjoyable exercises can
also
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 help in improving their reading
skills
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 but in my point of view they improve others
skills
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such
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 as motor
skills
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, coordination, social interaction and many more.

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task achievement
Enhance the support and development of the main points. Some ideas, while well-stated, could be further elaborated with more detailed examples or explanations. Consider providing more depth to your arguments to make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your paragraphs clearly relate to the main thesis statement. Although you follow a logical structure, some parts of the essay could benefit from more explicit connections between the arguments and the central position or between different parts of the text.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly answers the task, presenting a clear position throughout. It successfully discusses multiple points that support the claim.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which structure the response well and provide a strong frame for your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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