Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

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The awareness of snacks and
toys
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has a huge impact on young ones and their
parents
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hence
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advertising of the same must be abolished. I totally disagree with
this
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statement because the main
problem
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is not advertising companies involved with loose of their businesses if they do not promote their products.
Firstly
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, the identity of a
problem
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solves every issue in life. On the one hand, it must be noted that an awareness of snakes and
toys
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is a good thing because
clan
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clans
show examples
love these things, but the
problem
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is the control of consumption and use of these things. I can give an example of
parents
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who teach and discipline their babies to eat
sweets
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and play with dolls. Their people are taught that they are only a certain number of
sweets
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once a week and they
also
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play with
toys
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on certain days. Surely,
this
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family can view as many adverts as possible about
sweets
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and
toys
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, but they know how to use and partake of them.
Secondly
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, some people’s lives are all about selling
sweets
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and
toys
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. If they do not advertise the same, how will they survive?
On the other hand
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, educating
parents
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and people on
sweets
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and
toys
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is paramount.
Further
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, there are some mothers, fathers and young ones who are addicted to buying
sweets
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and dolls.
Furthermore
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, if there is no education on these,
clan
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the clan
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will consume more than enough and will have teeth problems and no control over playing with the
toys
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.
For example
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, there is a Duncan family which is popularly known for making
toys
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only. They have passed
this
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business from generation to generation. Telling them not to advertise will not work for them. In conclusion, announcing
toys
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and
sweets
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impacts
parents
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and their little ones. I totally am in disagreement that advertising should be prohibited for children it is not the main issue here. So, the main
problem
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should be identified and both children and their
parents
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should be educated on
sweets
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and
toys
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.
In addition
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, it should be noted that companies selling these products will run at a loss if they do not promote or disclose their products.

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance logical progression.
coherence cohesion
To make your introduction and conclusion stronger, try to start and end with a clear thesis statement and a summary of your main points, respectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments and clarify your main ideas.
task achievement
Work on ensuring that your ideas are expressed as comprehensively and clearly as possible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively identifies a counterpoint to the main argument, showcasing a balanced approach.
task achievement
You provide practical examples, like the Duncan family, which help strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • preferences
  • materialism
  • financial strain
  • mental well-being
  • body image concerns
  • unrealistic expectations
  • ethical concerns
  • exploiting
  • impressionability
  • health awareness
  • educational content
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