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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The three pie chart below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

The three pie chart below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.
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The
three
Use synonyms
 charts illustrate how much spending in five
categories
Use synonyms
 (Insurance, resources, furniture, workers, and teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
) in UK schools in
three
Use synonyms
 periods (1981, 1991, and 2001).
Overall
Linking Words
, the most spending on teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 in all
three
Use synonyms
 years.
However
Linking Words
, there was no significant difference in the other
categories
Use synonyms
. In 1981, spending on teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 had first place at around 40% and increased by 10% in 1991,
while
Linking Words
 there are decreased to 45% in 2001. The same happened in other
categories
Use synonyms
, there are rises than it fell in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. The proportion of workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 was the second highest in
three
Use synonyms
 years but there are little decrease from 28% to 15% in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
As well as
Linking Words
 school spending on resources slightly dropped from 15% to 9%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, another two
categories
Use synonyms
 had little decrease than had raised
at the end
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. The number of spending on furniture and equipment increased from 15% to 23%
at the end
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the least spending on insurance had little growth from 2% to 8% in
three
Use synonyms
 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, categories, salaries, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
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