IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

"Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public transportation, while others think that improving roads is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

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There are different views among the
people
Use synonyms
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend a lot of money on public transportation or, developing
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a roads
show examples
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 system is the best choice
instead
Linking Words
. I will discuss both opinions before I
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 my own perspective. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of beliefs held by some individuals
explain
Correct pronoun usage
that explain
show examples
 that the
government
Use synonyms
 should allocate
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 cost
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 public transport. The main common reason to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is, decreased the traffic jam on the road. because the
government
Use synonyms
 will establish new paths to reforming the railways and
roads
Use synonyms
. So, the traffic jam is decreased through
this
Linking Words
 procedure.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the
accidents
Correct quantifier usage
number of accidents
show examples
 will decline particularly when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 go to their work
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 morning. In
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 feel
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 and relaxed
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 having a perfect service.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
expensive money is spent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 reforming
roads
Use synonyms
 is another option
according to
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
. After the
government
Use synonyms
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 the bridges and railways on the road, the
people
Use synonyms
 can move fast by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
car or bus.
Thus
Linking Words
, the population will sense of confidence
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 driving through
this
Linking Words
 good addition. In conclusion, despite that
people
Use synonyms
 have diverse opinions about spending
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 amount of money on transportation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 or trying to
redeveloping
Change the verb
redevelop
show examples
 the paths on
roads
Use synonyms
by supported
Change preposition
with support
show examples
 from the
government
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, try to expand on your points with more specific examples and illustrate the potential impacts or results clearly. This will help fully demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using more linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly (e.g., "Firstly", "Furthermore", "On the contrary"). This will help create a logical progression throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding the conclusion to succinctly reiterate your main points and express your opinion clearly. Currently it's brief and doesn't fully summarize the earlier discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are appropriately placed, creating a clear structure for the essay.
task achievement
You've presented both sides of the debate, showing a fair balance in discussing different viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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