IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #employees #three #four #week #five #six #answers
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According to
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 some folks, working for three to
four
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days
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 per
week
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 has more benefits compared to stretching for five to six
days
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.
This
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 is because it gives
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
show examples
time
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 to spend with their families and
hence
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, can able to meet their ideal
work
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-life goal. In the following sections, I will explain in detail why they feel so, based on my own personal knowledge. Foremost, when working for less than
four
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days
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, people get a maximum of three
days
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 a
week
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 for their personal
time
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.
This
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 helps them not only to recuperate from their
work
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 stress but
also
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 provides them with much-needed quality
time
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 with their families. They could use
this
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time
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 to teach their kids, practise new hobbies, go for an outdoor hike or a jog and initiate other well-being activities.
Furthermore
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, they could leverage
this
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 free
time
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 for doing part-
time
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 courses eventually benefiting their own career.
For example
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, if frontline workers employed in a manufacturing organization after
four
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days
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 of
work
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, wisely spend their off-
time
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 to enrol in a management course, would propel their working career to greater heights by getting their promotion.
In addition
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 to
this
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, employee concentration
also
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 increases
due to
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this
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 arrangement. Most employees can focus completely on their job, as they
work
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 only for 4
days
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.
Due to
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this
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, both
individuals
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individual's
individuals'
show examples
 and
as well as
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 employers' performance increases manyfold. Typically, in a five-day
work
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week
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, employees spend only 5 to 6 hours productively.
On the other hand
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, with a
four
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-day
work
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week
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, though they need to
work
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 for 12 hours, their drive and concentration tend to stay longer.
This
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 data was
further
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 supported by countries like New Zealand & some Nordic countries, which implemented
this
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work
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 arrangement in certain sectors and have reported that the organization's performance improved compared to their previous baseline.
However
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, there is no denying the fact, that though
four
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days
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 of
work
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 per
week
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 is an ideal scenario, it is still quite difficult to implement across the globe, as it requires employers to make seismic changes in their company's policies. But, when implemented, it can create positive effects both for the employers and
also
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 for the workers, as it boosts employee morale which in turn increases the organization's performance and profit.
Submitted by nusramkumar on

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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear and well-supported argument for the benefits of a shorter workweek, including increased family time, personal development, and improved employee concentration. To achieve an even higher score, consider exploring counterarguments or potential challenges in more depth, providing a more balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, beyond the basics such as 'In addition to this.'
Examples
The essay effectively uses personal experience and hypothetical examples to support your arguments, making your case compelling.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized the argument and restated the benefits of a three or four-day workweek, which shows good task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productive
  • workplace stress
  • employee well-being
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon emissions
  • traffic congestion
  • flexibility
  • personal interests
  • implementation
  • workload
  • customer service
  • business operations
What to do next:
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