IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people feel it a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Endangered animal
species
Use synonyms
 provide a
debate
Change the verb form
debated
show examples
 subject about the importance of conservation the
wildlife
Change preposition
of wildlife
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.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that investing substantial amounts to save some rare animal
species
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
an
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 inefficient use of money, others believe that it is essential for them to be protected and supported by
economy
Add an article
the economy
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.
As a result
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I am totally against killing wild animals,
destroying
Correct word choice
and destroying
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 the ecological balance and all the ecosystems, I truly believe that every nation should take care of their natural environment and
animals
Correct article usage
the animals
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 that live in it. Every animal
animal
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
species
Use synonyms
 plays its own role in maintaining the ecological balance,
therefore
Linking Words
 their extinction will harm the entire ecosystem,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 the extinction of tigers will unbalance the number of herbivores,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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 it will destroy the forests and all the vegetation. Another reason for investing in animal care is for each country’s economy and tourism,
for example
Linking Words
 creating natural reservations for animals like gorillas, lions or giraffes will provide a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of jobs for people to take care of them,
furthermore
Linking Words
, a lot of people from other countries will come to visit them, which is a big contribution to the tourism. In conclusion, I think that even if conserving endangered
species
Use synonyms
 is costly, it is a necessary investment for biodiversity. All in all, governments and special organizations should be the ones to focus on the solutions that sustain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments. Consider using statistics or real-world examples to emphasize your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and clearly linked with transition words. This will help guide the reader through your argument effectively.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
clear comprehensive ideas
You expressed a clear opinion on the topic, demonstrating your stance effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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