IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the contemporary era, the issue
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 as the population is increasing there is a need for
food
Use synonyms
,
edible
Correct word choice
and edible
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insects
Use synonyms
are use
Change the verb form
are used
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 as a
source
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 in the country. In my notion, it is a positive development that edible
insects
Use synonyms
 are used as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
food
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 in many countries.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of society favours it,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the rest opposes it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will justify my opinion with some of the reasons. To commence with, the pros
on
Change preposition
of
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 using the
food
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source
Use synonyms
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 edible
Use synonyms
insects
Correct the article-noun agreement
insect
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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edible
insects
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 are
cost-effective
Add an article
a cost-effective
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 and efficient
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of nutrition
such
Linking Words
 as highly rich in protein, vitamins and minerals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, offering a viable solution to
food
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 scarcity.
Secondly
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,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this insect
these insects
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insects
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requiring
Wrong verb form
require
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 few resources to grow and harvest as compared to traditional livestock.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are more convenient and easy to grow in the country.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Insects
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 have a much lower carbon footprint than livestock, as they produce less greenhouse gas emissions, require less land and consume fewer resources.
This
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them
an
Correct article usage
apply
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environmentally sustainable for feeding an ever-growing population.
To Begin
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 with, the cons of
insects
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 is that despite their nutritional benefits, many people
repulsed
Add a missing verb
are repulsed
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 by the idea of consuming
insects
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due to
Linking Words
 cultural or psychological barriers. To substantiate , it
hinder
Change the verb form
hinders
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 their acceptance as a mainstream
food
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source
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.
Besides
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,
this
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 they
concerns
Wrong verb form
are concerned
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 regarding the health safety of eating
insects
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, including possible allergies and the presence of harmful pesticides or pollutants.
Last
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 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, proper regulations and farming practices must be established to ensure the safety and hygiene of insect-based foods. To recapitulate, I reiterate that there are innumerable
such
Linking Words
 factors supplying or opposing that as the population is increasing there is a need for
food
Use synonyms
,
edible
Correct word choice
and edible
show examples
insects
Use synonyms
are use
Change the verb form
are used
show examples
 as a
source
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 in the country which cannot be overlooked either.

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task achievement
To improve task response, include more specific examples and data to illustrate your points effectively. This could involve mentioning specific kinds of insects used for food or giving examples of countries where this practice has succeeded.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your main points in the introduction and provide a brief outline of your essay. This will set clear expectations for the reader.
task achievement
The essay covers both benefits and drawbacks, providing a balanced view of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have effectively noted the environmental benefits of using insects as food, which is a strong point in support of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • food scarcity
  • edible insects
  • nutritional benefits
  • cultural barriers
  • psychological barriers
  • mainstream food source
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmentally sustainable
  • economic benefits
  • local farmers
  • health safety
  • allergies
  • pesticides
  • pollutants
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • regulations
  • hygiene
  • unforeseen consequences
What to do next:
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