It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Taking a
risk
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is necessary for
people
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in their
career
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careers
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and individual lives. It has some benefits for human welfare
such
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as reaching their maximum level in the work atmosphere and realising their dreams in their lifecycle. All these factors give me
achance
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a chance
to emphasize that the positive aspects surpass its drawbacks for me. In
favor
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favour
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of reaching a top-level capacity,
people
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always target to showcase their maximum capacity to access broad opportunities, including:
travel
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travelling
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to another country to find a more paid job and raise a high-level worker in professional life.
Therefore
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, individuals encounter different risks which require high attention and approach during an acceptance process. If one person takes risks like meeting a new culture in a foreign country and
invest
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invests
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a financial budget to get more benefits to improve his work opportunities, he will gain success ultimately.
On the other hand
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, a person who does not prefer to take a
risk
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,
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apply
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may ignore positive consequences in her career. To illustrate
this
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, during the inflation time in 2008, few members of the societies invested their all salaries in Bitcoin
although
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they might lose their all savings.
As a result
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, individuals who bought a Bitcoin gained millions and created their own businesses
while
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people
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who did not take a
risk
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with coins felt disappointment for many years.
According to
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personal life, almost all
people
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have a lot of imagination of their dreams and want to realize all of them through their decisions.
Hence
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, the population sometimes
expose
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exposed
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to
accept
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accepting
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a decision in some situations where it requires taking a
risk
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.
For example
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, a person who wants to change his car which
is
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has been
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a dream since his childhood
fall
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falls
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down to
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into
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confusion
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as adaptation to
new
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the new
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interface of the vehicle.
Therefore
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, each individual should focus on risks because it is absolutely crucial for each step by
people
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.
For example
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, based on a report by Ford, only 30% of their customers prefer to purchase new variations of cars rather than modern ones because consumers think that they cannot easily adapt to contemporary interfaces and it is a big
risk
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for them.
As a result
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, they cannot benefit from new instalments on a car like self-parking. In conclusion, taking a
risk
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really improves the population’s welfare both in professional and personal lives. Owing to it, individuals may earn a lot of money and high positions in their work, and realize their dreams and wishes in the lifecycle. These positive results outweigh its potential disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your arguments by using simpler sentences. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Include more examples and explanations to support your points. Make sure they are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly, such as 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally.'
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic, stating that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
You provide some interesting examples of risks people take, both in their careers and personal lives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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