IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.
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The two bar charts illustrate information about the spending of two countries on consumer goods in pound sterlings in 2010 .
Overall
Linking Words
,in both
sections
Add a comma
sections,
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 the highest expenditure was on a car ,
while
Linking Words
 one of the lowest expenses for both
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 was perfume. Generally, the UK spent more money on consumer goods . France paid a great amount of money for cars and computers , 400 000 and 380 000 respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the smallest sum of money was spent on perfume and cameras with a difference of
50 000
Correct your spelling
50,000
 thousand in quantity. The average bought items ware books showing 300 000 thousand . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, The UK represented a different trend.The highest spendings were on cars and books, between 400 000 and 500 000. Computers and perfume showed similar trends
as
Change preposition
in
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 France , illustrating 350 000 and 190 000 respectively .Interestingly British people purchased cameras considerably more than
another country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
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 illustrating
380 000
Correct your spelling
380,000
.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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