Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that
must
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people think that teenagers have to equally focus on all types of
subjects
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
there is
onther
Correct your spelling
another
opinion
opsis
Correct your spelling
about
it, other people believe that teenagers must only focus on
subjects
Use synonyms
they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
and they are good at. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will talk about both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and my opinion as
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand,
foucsing
Correct your spelling
focusing
on all
subjects
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
benefits,
such
Linking Words
as learning a lot of
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
others to learn.
For example
Linking Words
, if you have a lot of
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
you
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
teach your children in the
futer
Correct your spelling
future
. It will help you in different life
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, if you do not have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
math and you
stoped
Verb problem
stop
show examples
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
it that
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
be a big problem.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you go to the mall and you want to pay
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
something but you realise that you do not
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
how to count because you
stop
Wrong verb form
have stopped
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
math. On the
next
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, focusing on
subjects
Use synonyms
they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
they are best at
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lot of benefits
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is much fun to learn something you love, you do not feel
board
Correct your spelling
bored
show examples
reading it.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
if you love art you will find it so fun and you
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
have good grades on it because you study it so
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
. In conclusion, it is kind of hard to tell what is the best view. But
overall
Linking Words
my opinion is
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
something you prefer and you are good at is so important. But
also
Linking Words
you need to learn about the basic
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
that are
usfull
Correct your spelling
useful
in your
dayly
Correct your spelling
daily
life.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
in my high school
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
focus on math because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
love it and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am good at it, at the same time
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
learn the basic
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
subjects
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to develop a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on your essay's main argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing the benefits of focusing on all subjects.
task achievement
Limit minor errors in spelling and grammar that could slightly distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph conveys one clear idea and connects logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Both views are addressed, demonstrating a balanced approach to the task.
task achievement
The conclusion provides a personal opinion, adding depth to the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • interdisciplinary
  • well-rounded knowledge
  • specialized skills
  • passion-driven learning
  • unforeseen future demands
  • balanced approach
  • academic strengths
  • diversified education
  • curriculum breadth
  • specialization
  • career prospects
  • personal development
  • cognitive flexibility
  • adaptability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: