Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Nowadays, adolescents are less likely to be active in their free time compared to children in the past because of their addiction to technology.

Moreover

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, schools should force children to attend sports lessons. I firmly agree with these statements

due to

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the reasons that will be written in the following paragraphs. First of all, with the breakthrough in the technological industry, the young generation started to show

the

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show examples

high level of addiction to gadgets

such

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as phones, computers, tablets, etc. which led to decreased daily activity .

This

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is mostly because of the intensive impact on short-term happiness that these gadgets are able to provide via social media or games.

Hence

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, there is no need for them to go outside and do hobbies or other fascinating things.

For example

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, at present, TikTok is one of the most ubiquitous applications on people's phones even among the old generation as it gives short and fast dopamine(happiness hormone) effortlessly.

Furthermore

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, educational places should include essential physical activeness lessons in their programs as it can improve human health and general mood by providing

the

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apply

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good quality dopamine.

Moreover

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this

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would be an effective way to tackle obesity problems that come with the dearth of exercise since the sport is able to burn fats and regulate the metabolism. To illustrate,

according to

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a recent study, the absolute majority illustrated less fat percentage in their bodies after a month of intense sport

such

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as gym, football, swimming, etc.

To conclude

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it is clear that

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the present children tend to not do the same volume of physical activity as their ancestors at the same age

due to

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the convenient gadgets and content on the internet.

Additionally

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, sports lessons should be a significant part of the general studying program as they help adolescents to be healthy

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coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to enhance flow between ideas.

task achievement

While the arguments are clear, expanding on each point further can deepen the essay's impact.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly introduces the topic and concludes effectively, maintaining focus throughout.

task achievement

Provided specific examples, such as the impact of TikTok and a study on obesity, to support arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay structures its arguments logically, moving from the issue to possible solutions.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical exercise
holistic development
mental well-being
academic performance
teamwork
discipline
leadership skills
life skills
cognitive function
academic learning
resources
facilities
community partnerships

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Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.

Top honeymoon dsetinations for newlywed British couples in 2010

You have just arrived in an English speaking country to study a course. Before you left your English teacher invited you to a dinner • thank him for the dinner • tell him about your studies • say how this advice helped you

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?