IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe taxpayers' money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The table illustrates how unemployed individuals in the UK spent their time, categorized by gender, over a one-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table gives the same information for men and women.Looking at the details, the top three activities were the most common. Even though housework was the most popular
tasks
Fix the agreement mistake
task
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 for women, but not for men. In fact
that
Change preposition
in
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 the activities which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 caring inside
home
Add an article
the home
a home
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such
Linking Words
 as shopping and job hunting, the percentage of women was higher than men.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the outside actions were more popular with
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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.
For example
Linking Words
, gardening, decorating and walking were slightly more than
rate
Add an article
the rate
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 of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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. The leisure time activities,
for instance
Linking Words
, playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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, drinking, sitting around and visiting town were not
a
Change the article
apply
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very popular in
both
Correct determiner usage
either
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sexes
Fix the agreement mistake
sex
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Try to clearly introduce the subject of your essay. A well-defined introduction sets the stage for your analysis and helps the reader understand what to expect.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure each sentence naturally leads to the next so the reader can follow your point more easily.
introduction conclusion present
Include a conclusion to summarize your analysis and provide closure to your arguments.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific data or examples from the table to support your points better. This will show a deeper understanding of the task.
complete response
You have identified the main trends in the table for both men and women.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay discusses the categorization of activities by gender, showing awareness of the task requirement.
supported main points
Main points such as housework being more common among women are supported by the table data.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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