today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society #revelant

In the modern era, there is a trend when people are buying goods

due to

the popularity they

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

through advertising rather than their real needs. I mostly agree with

this

idea. In

this

essay, I plan to explore my point of view substantiating them with relevant examples.

Firstly

, I would like to talk about products that are more attractive to buyers

due to

ads

such

as smartphones, notebooks and other devices.

For example

, it is a well-known fact that a plethora of individuals, especially young people, are impatiently waiting for the release of gadgets' new models just because they are modern, have the latest versions' capabilities, and give an opportunity to make an impression on their peers. In reality, they do not need to change their previous devices but they do it. Another situation concerns a huge number of goods that are believed to treat or alleviate certain health issues.

For instance

, a myriad of women spend money on magic pills which are able to lose weight. Needless to say, generally they do not help them.

Nevertheless

, sometimes advertised goods are really useful and give a chance to be aware of them.

For example

, recently I have heard about a new device that helps to install a smartphone in the car highly convenient and flexible. I did not know about it and found it quite useful for me. In conclusion,

although

society often falls under the influence of advertising and does useless shopping wasting their money, yet, there are cases when it is possible to find needed products through promotional video clips and banners.

Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider expanding your introduction to better contextualize your argument before diving into specific examples. This could involve briefly discussing the role of advertising in consumer culture.

Task Achievement

Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. While your examples are relevant, expanding on the implications of these examples can strengthen your argument. Consider discussing the psychological effects of advertising or the financial impact of purchasing unnecessary goods on individuals.

Task Achievement

Ensure your conclusion summarizes your argument effectively and reinforces your stance. While you provide a summary, adding a sentence that clearly states your overall position would make your conclusion stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured, but consider using a wider range of connectives and transition phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Regularly review and practice sentence structures and paragraph transitions to improve the overall readability of your essay. This could include practicing complex sentence forms and using linking words to connect ideas across paragraphs.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the notion that changing one's perspective on stress can lead to a healthier response to life's challenges?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.

Many People think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while other believe that all companies should have the right to advertise what is your opinion?

In many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?