today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, there is a trend when people are buying goods
due to
the popularity they got
through advertising rather than their real needs. I mostly agree with Wrong verb form
get
this
idea. In this
essay, I plan to explore my point of view substantiating them with relevant examples.
Firstly
, I would like to talk about products that are more attractive to buyers due to
ads such
as smartphones, notebooks and other devices. For example
, it is a well-known fact that a plethora of individuals, especially young people, are impatiently waiting for the release of gadgets' new models just because they are modern, have the latest versions' capabilities, and give an opportunity to make an impression on their peers. In reality, they do not need to change their previous devices but they do it. Another situation concerns a huge number of goods that are believed to treat or alleviate certain health issues. For instance
, a myriad of women spend money on magic pills which are able to lose weight. Needless to say, generally they do not help them.
Nevertheless
, sometimes advertised goods are really useful and give a chance to be aware of them. For example
, recently I have heard about a new device that helps to install a smartphone in the car highly convenient and flexible. I did not know about it and found it quite useful for me.
In conclusion, although
society often falls under the influence of advertising and does useless shopping wasting their money, yet, there are cases when it is possible to find needed products through promotional video clips and banners.Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to better contextualize your argument before diving into specific examples. This could involve briefly discussing the role of advertising in consumer culture.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. While your examples are relevant, expanding on the implications of these examples can strengthen your argument. Consider discussing the psychological effects of advertising or the financial impact of purchasing unnecessary goods on individuals.
Task Achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your argument effectively and reinforces your stance. While you provide a summary, adding a sentence that clearly states your overall position would make your conclusion stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but consider using a wider range of connectives and transition phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the logical flow of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Regularly review and practice sentence structures and paragraph transitions to improve the overall readability of your essay. This could include practicing complex sentence forms and using linking words to connect ideas across paragraphs.