IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many automobile manufacturers created self-driving systems for their vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of releasing cars with this system.

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Many vehicle manufacturers release a variety of
cars
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 from small
cars
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 to trucks based on the technology of autonomous driving. Even though the government already approved for using vehicles with
this
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system
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, there is an ongoing argument about the pros and cons of self-driving
cars
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.
Nevertheless
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, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
due to
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 the safety issues. The most fascinating point of self-driving
cars
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 is they can lower the fatigue level of drivers.
For example
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, if someone has to drive in the peak seasons
such
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 as Thanksgiving Day. Higher and accumulated fatigue leads to a higher risk of accidents. The second advantage of
this
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system
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 is it can expand the range of drivers. Thanks to
this
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, it enables more
people
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 to get an opportunity to drive from disabled
people
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 to normal
people
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 who just have a fear of driving. In terms of disadvantages, safety issues are the most critical. Even though there is an advanced level of awareness
system
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,
people
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 tend to not focus on driving as they do in a conventional way. If the
system
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 is broken or not working for some reason, it is hard to prevent accidents.
In addition
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, just in case of accidents, the responsibility of the cause could not be clear. The drivers of autonomous vehicles blame the manufacturers who made the vehicle improperly.
To sum up
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, there are a lot of strong points that boost convenience.
However
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, the risk of safety issues is much more serious than the benefit of autonomous driving.
Therefore
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, I am firmly convinced that
this
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system
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 should be postponed until it becomes perfectly safe.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Detailed examples help in validating your points effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to maintain a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a solid framework to your essay.
task achievement
You address both sides of the discussion, outlining both advantages and disadvantages of self-driving cars.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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