IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Your company has recently introduced a new work uniform. You are mostly happy with the uniform, but there is one thing that you do not like. Write a letter to your manager. In the letter say what you like about the uniform explain what you don’t you like about the uniform suggest how the uniform can be improved

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Dear Mr. Pink, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to express that my latest uniform is very elegant and I love it because it is in my favourite colour red, which looks amazing.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the shirt has a black bow which gives a professional touch and it fits
to
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition to seems unecessary after the verb fits. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
me.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, sorry to say that there is only one thing about the dress that I dislike, the fabric of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 outfit is too hard, which can cause skin rashes and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 avoid wearing
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 clothes as we work in hot regions. So
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is suitable only in Winter. I want to give you a suggestion that you can change
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 fabric with cotton, as cotton is very comfortable to wear and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is softer than others. I'd be thankful for your compromise. Thanks in advance,

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using connectors between ideas, especially when expressing contrasting points (e.g. "However").
Task Achievement
Try to provide a more specific suggestion or rationale for changing the fabric. For instance, mention any specific benefits other than comfort.
Task Achievement
The letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, suitable for a formal communication with a manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is structured in a logical manner, consistently focusing on one aspect of the uniform in each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • introduced
  • appreciation
  • pleasing
  • professional image
  • elegant
  • sophistication
  • professionalism
  • high quality
  • appearance
  • comfort
  • modern
  • stylish
  • tailored
  • sleek lines
  • polished
  • discomfort
  • relaxed
  • adjustable
  • beneficial
  • aesthetics
  • commitment
  • valued
  • enhance
  • modifications
  • impression
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