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Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In
this
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 day and age, developed countries all over the
world
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 are bending their backwards to improve their professional in
science
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 field.
Science
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 plays a pivotal role in people’s
lives
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such
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 as reducing hunger, creating a better economy
as well as
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 finding new cures. As we can see, humans’ life is getting better day by day
due to
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 the huge improvement of the scientific techniques.
Therefore
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, I will elaborate more about why I agree with
this
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 statement. On one hand, the development of
science
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 benefits people’s
lives
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. Many invented cures and discoveries of technology bring people to
new
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a new
the new
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 era.
For instance
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, in 2020, there was a very serious Covid-19 pandemic happened all around the
world
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. It was a serious
infections
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infectious
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 disease caused by a newly discovered virus. Patient who was infected by the virus would die if the situation comes serious.
However
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,
science
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 has been growing, scientists all around the
world
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 devoted all the energy on inventing the vaccine, and the public nowadays can live side by side with the disease.
As a result
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,
science
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safe
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saved
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 many
lives
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.
On the other hand
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,
science
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 aims to broaden people’s knowledge to be aware of the environment. Many nations in
this
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world
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 do not have good geography. Africa and some parts of Asia have severe drought, and most of them cannot produce their own food because of the bad soil.
In addition
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, scientists discovered how to make some vegetation suitable for
this
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 condition, and they did it.
For instance
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, in Indonesia, there is a place with poor land conditions, but with some experiments on vegetation, they are able to grow some plants that suit poor soil in their country.
This
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 helps society to improve their
lives
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 by growing their own food. In a nutshell, the goal of
science
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 is to improve the life of society.
Moreover
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, there are many positive impacts that were showed in real life and we are looking towards for more discoveries to make our
lives
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 better.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure all paragraphs follow a clear, organized pattern of ideas, with each sentence contributing directly to the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and have a conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates the writer's position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Back up your main points with detailed and relevant examples or explanations throughout your essay, avoiding repetition and irrelevancies.
Task Achievement
Answer the question directly, maintaining focus on the task throughout. Ensure a full response to all parts of the prompt.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas fully, providing depth of analysis, clear reasoning, and insight to make a comprehensive argument.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to the claim being made and ensure they are well-explained and supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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