IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that cities are the best place to live. Other prefect to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
reside
Wrong verb form
residing
show examples
 in metropolitans
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best place.
While
Linking Words
 others prefer to reside in rural areas. I firmly believe the effects of living in cities were bigger than living in the countryside like the development of perspective and easy
access
Use synonyms
 to public
transportation
Use synonyms
 were a key definition to live a good life
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here. An improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life will continually increase for
people
Use synonyms
 who want to upgrade their lives. Many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in cities because there are a lot of options for job opportunities. There is the possibility that
people
Use synonyms
 can have a minimum salary wage, despite the higher standard of living cost
will be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 can manage their finances well,
this
Linking Words
 will be a good chance to save more money and suppress the cost. Another benefit of living in a big town
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 easy
access
Use synonyms
 to public
transportation
Use synonyms
. Mostly,
people
Use synonyms
 just need to pay at a cheaper cost and have an e-money to
access
Use synonyms
 them.
For example
Linking Words
, open hours are quite long for public
transportation
Use synonyms
, so
people
Use synonyms
 can
access
Use synonyms
 it whenever they need. Not only easy
access
Use synonyms
 to
transportation
Use synonyms
, but
people
Use synonyms
 will have easy
access
Use synonyms
 to healthcare and education facilities which can improve their knowledge by learning new things and good diagnoses when
people
Use synonyms
 are sick. In conclusion, more
people
Use synonyms
 will choose to stay in big cities than in rural areas. I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 have a better life by what they are choosing and how smart to manage their finances.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
While your response is focused on the aspects you've chosen (jobs, transportation, healthcare, and education), consider acknowledging a few counterpoints or additional aspects to deepen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear logical structure. Using topic sentences could help improve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and outlines the main opinion and points of the essay well.
coherence cohesion
You conclude your essay cohesively, reiterating your stance with a clear summary.
task achievement
You have made some valid points about the benefits of city living in terms of job opportunities and access to facilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural living
  • serene environment
  • bustling metropolis
  • career prospects
  • healthcare access
  • recreational facilities
  • urban sprawl
  • communal bonds
  • environmental sustainability
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