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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first chart shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second chart shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first chart shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second chart shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie charts compare the proportion of a survey of children's
activities
Use synonyms
. The first pie chart illustrates the culture and leisure in
boys
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the second chart gives the
activities
Use synonyms
 in girls.
Overall
Linking Words
, computer games had the most
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
 in the
boys
Use synonyms
'
activities
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 dancing had the highest percentage in the girls'
activities
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, computer games and basketball had the largest shares of
activities
Use synonyms
 in the
boys
Use synonyms
 with 26% and 34%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, reading and dancing had the largest contribution of
activities
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 with 21% and 27%, respectively. Reading ranked least at 2% in the
boys
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Gymnastics and Skateboarding had the same proportion with 11% in both charts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, listening to music stood the same percentage with 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, soccer ranked third at 17% in the
boys
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'
activities
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,
while
Linking Words
 netball stood fourth at 15% in the girls'
activities
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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