Prevention is better than cure. Do you agree or disagree that out of the country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health and education and preventive measures?

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It is undeniable that there is a global initiative regarding life-saving practices,
thus
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the allocation of billions toward the procurement of state-of-the-art facilities
as well as
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medications that are aimed at curative efforts in subduing illnesses.
While
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resources evidently require a fortune, some people would argue that it would be better to invest in health teaching and promotion wherein I am of the same view for various reasons.
To begin
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, teaching translates to literacy. In other terms, public enlightenment regarding effective practices provides an opportunity to debunk myths that may be detrimental to physical condition.
For instance
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, a common misconception entails vaccines cause autism in children.
Although
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there are no studies to prove their correlation, it is important for infants to receive complete immunization shots to protect them from deadly infections like measles.
Likewise
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, WHO revealed that measles vaccines reduced up to 60% of child mortality over 50 years.
In addition
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, illness-preventive programmes are cost-effective.
For example
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, daily exercises and a balanced diet, which greatly reduces the risk of heart attacks as per CDC, are free at the same time accessible.
Whereas
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, basic cardiac procedures like coroangiogram are performed by the Philippine General Hospital at around Php25,000.
Subsequently
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, a huge gap is observed between illness prevention and treatment costs.
Moreover
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, healthy practices are analogous to the absence of disease.
In particular
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, seminars regarding the adverse effects of cigarettes, which account for 80-90% of lung cancers
according to
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studies, encourage smoking cessation.
Consequently
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, Lung cancer including pneumonia and tuberculosis are avoided.
Accordingly
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, the decreasing occurrence of
such
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conditions will minimize financial demand for medical expenses which is the ultimate benefit, especially for countries with limited resources. In conclusion, the initiative for health education and preventive measures is a far better option for government funds provision because
first,
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it imparts knowledge,
second,
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requires little financial support and
lastly
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, enables a root-cause approach toward better outcomes.
This
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is in relation to my belief that there will be no need for expensive treatments if we have nothing to cure in the first place.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear position and addresses the task effectively. However, it could benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs to strengthen the flow of ideas.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant and specific, ensure that they are clearly linked to the main arguments to enhance their effectiveness. A few more examples could also add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
The use of relevant specific examples, particularly regarding vaccines and their impact on child mortality, shows a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, reinforcing your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • treatment
  • health budget
  • divert
  • health problems
  • awareness
  • healthy habits
  • behaviors
  • vaccinations
  • screenings
  • check-ups
  • early detection
  • burden on the healthcare system
  • resources
  • infectious diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • quality of life
  • balancing
  • wellbeing
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