IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while others believe that mental strength holds more significance. Both perspectives have valid points, and this discussion will explore each view before presenting my own opinion.

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In today's world, many people try hard to stay fit both physically and mentally. Many folks
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 priority to physical
health
Use synonyms
 in sports
whereas
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 others prioritize mental
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into both views
along with
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 my own perspective. Proponents argue that staying healthy and fit is one of the main concerns
while
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 taking part in sports. Physical
health
Use synonyms
 enables a
person
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 to perform at their best, showing their skills and stamina to the audience.
For example
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, a
person
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 with 90 kg weight cannot
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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run
fast
Rephrase
as fast
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 as
50
Correct article usage
a 50
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kg
person
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, one is more likely to recover quickly from any kind of injury than the other. Opponents argue that mental
health
Use synonyms
 plays an imperative role
than
Change preposition
over
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 physical
health
Use synonyms
 because a
person
Use synonyms
 has to make informed choices and decisions before entering in playground. Athletes
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to manage
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 level of concentration
while
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 playing.
Furthermore
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, a
player
Use synonyms
 with good fitness cannot handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress effectively
whereas
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 a
player
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 with good mental
health
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know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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what he should do if any situation
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
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. In conclusion,
according to
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 me, both mental and physical are required to be a good
player
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. If one of them is missing the
player
Use synonyms
 may not feel complete.

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clarification
Make sure to use more precise language, especially when discussing details such as weight and performance.
enhancement
Include more specific examples to support your points, which would enhance your argument.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
Both sides of the argument are presented, which showcases an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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