IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Healthcare costs are increasing, and many governments are finding it difficult to balance their healthcare budget. Should citizens be responsible for their health with private health insurance, or should the government provide free healthcare for all? Discuss your viewpoint on this issue.

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Today, many governments are struggling to balance their healthcare
dudget
Correct your spelling
budget
due to
Linking Words
 pressure from other sectors. Even though some
people
Use synonyms
 can invest their money in healthcare
insurance
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
not everyone can afford the
hight
Correct your spelling
high
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cost
Use synonyms
. So, the state and central
government
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 should share the
cost
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 and implement free
insurance
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all
people
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. On the one hand, wealthy and
priveledged
Correct your spelling
privileged
people
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 are aware
about
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of
show examples
 recent lifestyle medical conditions and invest their money in private
health
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insurance
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
health
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insurance
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 can significantly reduce the burden of hospital and medical expenses in unfortunate conditions
such
Linking Words
road
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as road
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 traffic
accident
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accidents
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 and heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
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.
Recent
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A recent
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 study from Harvard University
show
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shows
show examples
 that about 70 percent of
people
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 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
has
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have
show examples
health
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insurance
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whereas
Linking Words
 India has only 20
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 huge difference is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 developed countries like America and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 deduct
insurance
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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in
Change preposition
from
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 the employee's salary.
Due to
Linking Words
 the high
cost
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, most
middle class
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middle-class
show examples
people
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 are not afford to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
health
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insurance
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, poor
people
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are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness about
health
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insurance
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 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 importance in crucial times. So,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should implement free
insurance
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
 irrespective of their financial situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, state and central governments should share the
cost
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 and implement
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 both
government
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 and private hospitals.
For example
Linking Words
, In India
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 5 lahks of medical care is free to all
people
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 who undergo major surgeries and life-threatening conditions. In conclusion,
health
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insurance
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 should be available to all
people
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 without their differences in financial condition.
Government
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 should spend most of their budget
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 healthcare especially
insurance
Use synonyms
 because healthy citizens can make
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
the wealthy
show examples
 country.

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Grammatical Accuracy
Ensure spelling is correct, as minor errors such as 'dudget' and 'hight' can affect perception. Double-check grammar for consistency.
Coherence
Work on better structuring your arguments by ensuring that each point flows logically to the next. For example, your points about health insurance could be more clearly separated and elaborated upon.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples and provide more specific details where possible. The statistic you presented is a good start, but more context would strengthen your argument.
Argumentative Insight
The discussion of different financial implications for health insurance across countries shows a thoughtful understanding of the global context.
Strong Position
You've successfully emphasized the importance of free health insurance as a necessity, which is a crucial point in this debate.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health outcomes
  • equality
  • financial status
  • quality care
  • competition
  • service delivery
  • economies of scale
  • regulate
  • control prices
  • vulnerable populations
  • moral obligation
  • personalized and flexible plans
  • burden on government resources
  • waiting times
  • budget constraints
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • chronic diseases
  • health is a public good
  • access to healthcare
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