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Writing Samples
Band 7

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that woman are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also for bringing the children up

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I think fatherhood and motherhood are equally important in determining
children
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’s characteristics, especially as they grow into adults. Just as a mother significantly impacts a
child’s
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 intelligence, a father
also
Linking Words
 plays a pivotal role in a
child’s
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 emotional
development
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. In many cases,
children
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 tend to become attention seekers as they grow up and are more likely to become victims of gaslighting or physical abuse from external influences
due to
Linking Words
 the absence of a father figure. In some circumstances,
children
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 may
also
Linking Words
 become bullies as a way to seek attention from others. It is important to highlight a woman’s physical and emotional readiness when a couple decides to have a baby. A mother’s lack of preparedness can directly impact
to
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apply
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fetal
development
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. We see many cases of babies being born with disabilities or even abandoned by their mothers
due to
Linking Words
 the parents’ lack of physical, emotional, and economic preparedness. Most of these cases involve underage women. Considering that
children
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 spend most of their time with their mothers, a young
child’s
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 character
development
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 and knowledge will depend heavily on how their mother teaches and nurtures them. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that both men and women are fully responsible for meeting their
children
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’s emotional needs.
However
Linking Words
, the form of affection may differ between men and women.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
child’s
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 emotional and physical
development
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 is
also
Linking Words
 influenced by a mother’s readiness to raise the child, especially since
children
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 tend to be more attached to their mothers during their early years to teenagers.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or scenarios to strengthen your argument about the roles of fathers and mothers in a child's life. This could involve anecdotes or statistical data that highlight the consequences of having an active father or the lack thereof.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are well-organized, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This will enhance the logical progression of your argument. Using more linking phrases could help improve the coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will help to prepare the reader for the structure of your argument.
content
Your essay effectively highlights the importance of both fatherhood and motherhood in a child's development, demonstrating strong understanding of the topic.
content
You provided a thoughtful analysis of how both parents contribute differently to a child's upbringing, showing depth in your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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